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Obsessed
Obsession is a word used everyday, thrown around carelessly by kids insulting one another, psychiatrists describing their patient’s conditions, parents talking to parents. Everyone and anyone can have an obsession. It could take shape in loving a tv show, wanting to get perfect grades, being first chair in an orchestra, or even being the best player on the team. Obsession is an interest in something more in depth and larger than what other people experience, whether it is good or bad, and whether it is ‘nerdy’ or normal.
Being obsessed with something is like having it take over one’s life. It influences their actions, the way they think, who they talk to, how they would react to certain situations. It also influences the way they look at things, and their perception of reality. Someone could fall over, and the reactions in an obsessed person’s mind could range anywhere from relating it back to a movie they saw, or how the fall would have affected the game. Being enthusiastic about something does not mean that all one does or talks about is that focal point, but it changes things. There are two people in my life I can directly reference (and for security purposes their names shall be changed in this essay), Aleisha and Cynthia. When I was at a new school, completely alone, reading a book that I happened to be obsessed with, Deathly Hallows, Aleisha came up to me and said, “That’s a great book!” From then, we became fast friends, and have continued that friendship for six years. The other girl, Cynthia, was made my friend through the same way, she was wearing a Harry Potter shirt, and had a sonic screwdriver (the Doctor’s device on the tv show Doctor Who), and we instantly made a connection. The people I choose to talk to outside of school were chosen because we share a common love and enthusiasm for something that not so many other people do. Without my obsessions I would not have made the connections I have today, and I wouldn’t know half as many wonderful people as I do now. It is easy to step out of the shell and talk to someone if we share a common interest. Conversations on public transportation have been started that way, friendships in a bookstore about someone’s shirt the same. It is fantastic to be able to reach out through the things I am passionate about, and find others who accept me.
When people hear the word obsession, something bad is often brought to mind. What they often overlook and forget is that there is a difference between good and bad obsession. Bad obsessions can include physical addictions, like drugs and smoking: not only are they physically addictive, but they are also mentally addictive. While marijuana is not a physically addictive substance there is an element of mental need for it. Smoking cigarettes or cigars encompasses several different obsessions, the nicotine itself is a physically addictive substance, and the act of raising the cigarette to the lips and breathing in can become a relaxing action, and can act as a crutch for the mind to lean on when it needs it. Anything that is harmful to someone is obviously a bad sort of obsession. Bad obsession is not just limited to physically harming substances, sometimes obsessions can make one close minded, and leave them thinking they are always right, when in fact that’s not the case and they might need to be corrected. As society often frowns upon obsession, ostracism is commonly a punishment for having that passion. Ostracism from peers, especially at a young age, can be mentally damaging and can leave scars for the person in question. However, despite the bad, there is also a good amount of good obsession. Like mentioned before, friendships can be made, other important relationships as well. Being so involved in something like a tv show, or books can give someone with so little something to hold onto. It can provide someone with depression, or suicidal thoughts, a reason to keep living. Whether that reason is to see the next episode, or go get the next book as soon as possible, or if it is because they can not wait to read into the characters’ actions and feel that personal connection they have, the one that reminds them of what’s good in the world. That good love for something can be the reason they made those friends, and can be the reason that they get filled up with a feeling of importance, and can simply save their life. It can provide an escape from reality if everything is falling down around them. When I felt sad as a child I could read Harry Potter and be sucked into Hogwarts, going to Charms with the Golden Trio and not having my homework done. That love can also spark something inside. It can make someone think about something they would normally overlook, really think about it. Obsession can provide them with the motivation and the reason to so critical and analytical thinking about what others would dub, “Just a t.v. show”, or, “Just a book”. A deep love like that can help shape people into what they want to be. As a child, I am sure we all had that one character in that one story we wanted so desperately to be, and we would run around in our backyard, swinging our swords, waving our wands, pretending that we were them, and they were us. As a child we all took something away from that character. Maybe it was a few different characters over the years, maybe it was a few different characteristics, but we took them and we grew up with them as guidelines and role models. I took Hermione’s motivation and love for knowledge, some took Harry’s bravery, and others Ron’s loyalty and love. They helped shape and mold us into the people we are today, and gave us those traits us that make us human. By making friends through obsession, learning and growing up with it, it can help us in another way, too. It can help us overcome social and anxiety issues. It provides us with strength that we might not find in other places. That desire to be first chair in an orchestra may give someone the strength to overcome some of their stage fright and go up there and play the best concert they’ve ever played. It can provide an excuse, or a common interest to make friends. Having an obsession is not always bad, it is just loving something, no matter how harmful or beneficial it is.
Obsession does not just apply to a nerd carrying around a Sonic Screwdriver at school-- it can also refer to work, sports, music. People can be obsessed with all sorts of things, for example: repetitive physical motion, order and cleanliness (often identified as OCD), rank, movies, books, tv, and people. Generally, one of the first things associated with the word “nerd” is obsession, and creepy. Although, nerds do not have a monopoly on obsession. A jock obsessed with being the best on the team is not a nerd, in fact he is considered the exact opposite. This passion for something that is constantly mistaken for being a nerd is also identified as bad, which leads people to the assumption that being a nerd is bad. People from all over are starting to challenge this idea, that nerds are bad. They are starting to speak up for them, and let the word know that being a nerd is not just being creepy, but instead loving something. “Because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff” (John Green). He brought up a wonderful point in his video blog, that being a nerd is not a bad thing, and it is not being obsessed with something, it is just being a nerd. We can be enthusiastic about something without being obsessed with it. We can also be obsessed with something without that thing being terrible, or us being terrible. I carry around a sonic screwdriver, and I quote the Doctor in French when it is applicable. One day I got bored in study hall, so I took a pen to my backpack, and wrote the Pokemon theme song lyrics in Evlish on the straps. I live and breathe these movies and books that I love, because I can, and because they help me be a better person. These obsessions keep me grounded in what I should be doing, what I want to do, and what is important in life, and to be honest, I wish they were real. That is the price of loving something, and being obsessed with it: it may be fake, but “It’s real for us” (Harry Potter). The stereotypes of nerds are something we are overcoming in society. It is cool to have a backpack with Spiderman on it now, and obsession is becoming a regular part of life, which is fantastic. People in the world are recognizing how having passions is not a bad thing anymore, but instead can make wonderful art, literature, opinions, and feed relationships. Obsession is changing the world for the better, and nerds are at the base of it.
Being obsessed with something is not horrible, like society used to dictate it be. It does not even belong to the identification of nerd. Healthy obsession is just a passion for something, something that others do not experience that is not typical for them. It is a way of life, a way of thinking, a dedication to something. The mindset that they will never stop loving and enjoying it, they will never stop having it a part of their life no matter if it is tearing it apart. In the words of Amy Pond (Doctor Who), “I can’t settle, every minute I am listening out for that stupid TARDIS sound.”
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