I hate cake.


Yah. You’re probably thinking like OMG! No way! I figured this was a great conversation starter. The one thing I haven’t announced to the world is that I don’t like cake. I am a baker and I bake things, but I try to avoid cake whenever possible. a) Because it is a pain in the arrière-train (look it up*) to make. b) It is really bad for you. c) It tastes bad, and d) it is ugly to look at.


Now that people eat cake during special events it has been really hard to avoid it. People eat the multicolored ones with a serious overdose of frosting on birthdays. People also eat the red brick-like ones with bits of dried fruit in them over the holidays. This Holiday cake has been inappropriately been named fruit cake after the creation of the European plum cake which gradually evolved into the fruit cake. Birthday cakes taste like sugar and only sugar. As for fruit cake tastes like stuff you’d find in a dump no matter what. Texturally, cake is not much better. Sponge cakes are my equivalent to eating air, and other cakes have a styrofoam-ish texture.



Have you ever had the kind of cake with the overwhelmingly sweet frosting? Or have you ever seen bad frosting designs? cakewrecks can show you how bad professional bakers are. But honestly, I suck at frosting cakes. I have read numerous books on how to frost cakes and have taken cake decoration classes as well, but have failed every single time. Frosting is so frustrating to work with but is an essential when it comes to cake.


Lastly, cupcakes will never die. People like cupcakes all the time, why? They seemingly live forever because people can’t get enough of them. There was a time when cake pops were supposed to be the new cupcakes, remember? People like cupcakes 24/7 and people can’t stop obsessing over them. I think that cupcakes are overrated because they aren’t even made in cups, they are made in paper liners. I wish they had something new for a change, but nothing can kill the popularity of cupcakes.


Even cake pops are on my bad side. They are small, expensive, and complicated. You have to dip them in chocolate as well. It is so hard to get the cake pop out of the melted chocolate after you dipped it; it gets very messy as well.

I hate cake.

*Naw. Don’t look it up. It just means “butt” in French.