Has someone ever misinterpreted an email you sent? Have you requested a “friend” that you don’t really even know? Have u ever LOL? Social media has changed the way we communicate with those around us. We send emails and texts that are misunderstood by our friends, parents or bosses. Social media such as Facebook has changed the meaning of friend. A friend is no longer someone that you know personally and spend time with often. A friend can now be defined as any contact or mere acquaintance. Apparently, you have to be a cryptographer to read some text messages or emails since they are not written in standard English. Social media has effected communications skills in a negative way. The use of social media has affected communication negatively by people misunderstanding what others mean through a text or email, by redefining relationships, and by changing the way we use the English language.

Social media has affected communication negatively due to the misinterpretation of texts or emails. According to Ben Crair in “The Period is Pissed”, the punctuation that someone uses or doesn’t use to send a message can change the meaning of the message entirely. Crair also noted that tone is lost in a text message or instant message. A person cannot tell if someone is being sarcastic or just funny. If people would just talk to each other, the tone could be heard in the voice. Someone would not have to guess if you were angry or frustrated or just OK. As it is, people are now trying to make punctuation have emotional meaning. Communication among people would occur more naturally through voice tone and facial expressions.

Social media has affected communication negatively by redefining relationships and how we connect with one another. Sherry Turkle in “The Flight From Conversation” discusses the differences between communicating and connecting. She writes about how people are connected to many people yet really have a very limited relationship. She calls this the “Goldilocks effect.” That is, we only connect with people as long as we can control the depth of the relationship---not too close, not too far, just right. Turkle suggest that we can “edit” ourselves. We can change ourselves with technology. Jennifer Cox in her article, “I Knew You Before I Met You: How social media Has Changed the Way We Communicate,” suggests that people online can change details about their physical appearance and their background without anyone ever knowing. This is another example of how we “edit” ourselves. Turkle suggest that connecting does not lead to companionship. Companionship takes face to face communication in which a person shares even the boring details of his or her life. I agree with Turkle and Cox in their suggestions that people often misrepresent themselves online. I also believe Turkle’s opinion that being connected does not make us less lonely.

While social media does lead to people misrepresenting themselves online, it can cause people with shared interests to connect in powerful ways. According to Cox, 17% of all marriages in 2013 were a result of couples who met on online dating sites. However, Cox notes that it is easy for people on dating sites to not reveal their real selves. Claiming to be someone who you aren’t is called catfishing and if you are on the receiving end it can be extremely dangerous. Child predators can manipulate kids through catfishing, sometimes child predators even lure children into meeting with them in real life.

Finally, social media has impacted communication negatively by lowering grammar standards in texts, emails, and other forms of online messaging. According to Connie C. Eble, an English professor at the University of North Carolina, fewer and fewer students enter college not knowing how to use the words “lie” and “lay” differently in a sentence. This lack of grammar knowledge and informal use of writing has carried over into the work environment. According to Kyle Wiens, CEO of the iFixit online community and founder of Dozuki software, the appropriate use of grammar gives people a certain credibility. He believes that people judge people who have poor grammar. He says that on the internet “words are all you have.” He suggest that people cannot see you so they judge you based on your words. Wiens even goes on to suggest that people who pay attention to the rules of grammar probably pay attention to other details. Communication between people does not always have to be informal as in texts. There is a time and a place for formal grammar use.

Social media has had a harmful effect on communication. The texts, emails, and online messages that are sent from person to person are often lost in translation. Real emotion has been replaced by punctuation marks. Tone is misunderstood. Relationships and conversations have been replaced by “connections”, “contacts”, and “friends.” We do not have to be our true self. We can be our “edited” self. We do not have to be “grammar enthusiasts” because the rules of writing are not that important. Turkle had it right when she said, “let’s start the conversation.”