Do you know how it feels to have to breathe under someone's shadow?
Someone who you barely know yet feel that you understand them?
Do you know that feeling of constant pressure about being careful in every move that you make... In every word that you say... But continuously failing to...?
Have you tried to compete to someone, but being unable to figure out what to follow?
To be better than them, or at least be like them, but when you try, you end up hurting the one you love because they hate that you remind them of that someone?
Not because they hate that person, but because they're trying to pretend that they don't love that someone anymore, and your actions bring all the memories flooding back?
Do you have to see that blank face of theirs when they sink in those memories, and even when you've not shared those moments they're remembering, you sink along with them too?
Do you know how it feels to being stuck in the decision of copying them or avoiding everything you know they ever did?
Do you know that feeling?
I do.
Trust me, it feels like suffocating, but worse than being stuck in a room full of smoke and fire, or drowning in an angry ocean, with waves far stronger than all your struggles to swim...
Having to measure each of your breath, just to keep your loved one happy, but never being sure what makes them that anymore...
The feeling of trying so hard yet never being enough...
Yes, it is suffocating, but so much worse...