“You up?” No, this isn’t your toxic ex trying to reach you. These infamous usually late night messages we all know and love, or hate, have defined this generation of relationships. The terms situationships and friends with benefits typically come as a result of these texts and the many other just as generation-defining variations. This world of hook ups and uncommitted relationships is widely known as hook-up culture. This culture is increasingly affecting my generation and is having negative effects. Hookup culture is leading to a generation that is scared of commitment.

Hook-up Culture whether you have participated in it and have your opinions on it or you haven’t participated in it like me and still have opinions, it has affected you. I personally don’t like the idea of hook-up culture because I want something completely different than what it is offering. Some may view my desire for a committed, long-term relationship as old-fashioned, but that is what I want. I do, however, see why people would partake in it and kudos to them for doing what makes them feel happy and empowered. However, even in some who gladly participate or plan to participate in hookup culture, I have seen problems with commitment. 

Gamophobia is the name for the fear of commitment. The majority of my generation has almost collectively gained this fear. Whether it be because of the effects of online dating or personal trauma, the fear of commitment is becoming more common. Berlt Brogaard in her article “Commitment Phobia and Hookups,” Brogaard sheds light on this increasing avoidance of commitment. Hook-ups have become popular due to their noncommittal nature, which aligns with our generation's "egocentric and superficial approach to romance," as described by Brogaard. Hookups can be a one time thing so you don’t have to follow the usual expectation for a committed relationship. Having the benefits of a typical relationship, without the full time commitment, makes it logical that hooking up is prevalent in Gen-Z. 

Social media has conditioned many people in my generation along with others to want instant gratification over working for it. Apps like Tik Tok, Instagram, Twitter, etc give you an almost instant laugh, smile or distraction the second you open it. Meghan Noé in her article on BU Today titled “The Problems With Hooking Up” goes over this topic of how instant gratification relates to hook culture. According to Noé, when hooking up, one can easily "upgrade" to a better partner if unsatisfied. This is similar to social media because when you don't like a video, you can swipe to a better one that will satisfy you. Noé then shares that some believe hooking up is a way to not have to worry about missing out on things because you are in a relationship. While the opposing side argues that it is those involved in hookup culture who are missing out on the emotional intimacy of committed relationships. 

Hookup culture is going to stay alive possibly forever. If you do plan to engage in it, or already are, be safe and protect your mental health. Don’t use hooking up as a way to escape your fears of commitment or receive instant satisfaction. Loving yourself should not come from the instant gratification that comes with this culture.