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Diaries of a Desolate Lover
We are not allowed to undo or redo our actions. We simply move forward, leaving an array of loose ends, that will eventually tangle up due to years and years of neglection.
There is no mercy, mercy in a life of sadness and sin does not exist.
We've been taught to fear things, our minds have been molded by these cookie cutter morals. We were never given the chance to think for ourselves, our brains have been f***ed with, from the second our lungs filled with air.
I do not need to feel safe. Safety does not exist. A moment of happiness is followed by an eternity of pain. Things are given, things are taken. Every morning the sun will rise, this however does not promise you a sunny day. Every night the moon will follow you, this however does not mean you will see it whole. Take comfort in the things that haunt you, and they too will leave.
We are living in a world where we simply exist.
We look for comfort, it is our primary instinct. We desperately need someone, to pour ourselves into. We've become more than our bodies can hold, we were meant to be shared. Everyone is meant for someone, this however does not mean that you were meant for them, see that's the f***ed up beauty of it all. Without pain, sadness, fear, and darkness, we would not appreciate the flowers that grow from the dirt.
We are lucky, sadness is familiar to us. We see beauty, we appreciate it, we breathe it, we cling to it. There is a world out there, of people who take everyday things for granted. They're incapable of finding beauty in the cracks of their lovers hands, I pity them.
To see the beauty in the goosebumps that follow the trail of my fingertips down your spine, is worth every aching moment. To see beauty in the pattern of your breath, how it changes, from slow, to heavy; to feel you panting on my lips, as your body spills over mine, is worth every f***ing aching moment. To hold your hand, and feel the sweat exit your pores, to see the beauty in that, is worth every aching moment. To hold you and feel your heart pressed against mine, as we breathe, is worth every aching moment. To look into your eyes, and feel at home, is worth every aching moment. To have stumbled across a million thorns, to reach the rose, was worth every aching moment.
You are my soul mate;
You fuel my fires, and feed my desires.
You are pure,
You are toxic,
You are everything.
My heart was yours the second I laid eyes on you, I knew I was never getting it back.
You are permanent.
The sun will rise, and fall, but you will not.
I am yours, but you are not mine.
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