The Dos and Don’ts of High School Relationships

There is nothing more time dramatic, frivolous, or disturbing as the high school relationship. In one school there may be a myriad amounts of couples; in essence they are not unique or “special” as they so claim, but fit into substandard categorizations. These three classifications are all on opposite ends of the spectrum there is; the overly affectionate, almost robotic, with the gooey predictableness of Valentine’s Day; the couple that can never seem to stop their incessant fights, but continue to proclaim their undying love; and finally the average high school couple, those who are not a disturbance, but rather something of an object that a bystander may fawn over.
There is nothing worse in life than predictability; likewise, there is nothing worse than the standard mess that is always the Lovesick Couple. I may say Lovesick, but the only ones who are truly sick are the people that must observe the romantic vomit from these types. I am not trying to be cynical, but not one single person wants to see THAT couple mindlessly groping each other on the way to algebra class. Unfortunate as it is, your boyfriend is not going to perish in the middle of his history class of boredom, or any other means therefore, it is completely unnecessary to act as if you are sending him off to war. Not one couple is exempt from this rule, but the worst case of this disease tends to lie within those couples that have been together for the entirety of a week. Excuse me, I mean forever (according to them). Adding to the ridiculousness of the situation this couple may claim to be “hopelessly, entirely in love with most perfect person I have ever met.” Oh the memories, oh the countless hours spent together, talking, laughing, smiling; that one week mark sure is something. Congratulations. Unfortunately, this sick display of “romance” does not just stop in school, in continues on in every possible way, not excluding social media. It seems as though these couples need to put themselves on display to reaffirm to not only themselves, but the whole school that yes, they are in fact in love. Not to mention the fact that their “cute couple pictures” often come with a miniature biography on just how these two are “soul mates”. Frauds; that is simply what these “relationships” are. I cannot count the glorious amount of times I have heard these people say, “well, I just want a cute relationship,” (cue the charming photograph). Oh of course, that is the entire, worldly purpose of a relationship, simply to be adorable and take pictures documenting how “cute” you are, and posting about it every five minutes or so about how “incredible” your boyfriend is. Each of these idiotic kids is just living under the false impression that THIS is what love is, reality is so much more different than that. As a result, these relationships are not anything more than ignorant gnats, buzzing heavily around the heads of the students who attend the school.
Perhaps more evident and more bothersome to the daily lives of the student body is the Divorced Couple; divorced in the way that they cannot stand one another, fight constantly, and everyone wonders when they will just leave each other alone. One day it may be a tranquil evening, but the next, oh boy watch out. One wrong move and suddenly, a quick bitter breakup explodes out of these two without warning. Even miniscule problems such as not saying “good-bye” when parting amounts to a savage, beastly quarrel, with the said couple transforming into wild beasts snarling something such as: “If you really cared about me, you would have said good-bye!” As ridiculous as that statement may be, it is perhaps more ridiculous in that fact that it is something a couple has actually said. To any normal, sane person, this trivial matter would have been overlooked, or rather calmly discussed to how it hurt their feelings, but not to this animal. However harsh the words that were spewed it is no matter for just a few days later you may see this deranged couple holding hands at school again, stating to all that are around them, “nothing can ever break our love!” Well, that is not entirely true is it, since you just “broke” up yesterday? Growing steadily worse, there is that couple that likes to scamper off like roaming tom cats and cheat on one another every other week. The male or female may be perfectly aware of this, but takes them back each and every time without fail A majority of the time, these couples cannot even stand the delusional presence of one another, let alone “love” one another. Of course, the entire school must bear witness to their pitiful sham a of a relationship, and each break up we all cross our fingers, close our eyes, and hope that maybe, maybe this will be the last time we have to hear about how so and so cheated on Sally this week with Susie. Caring about these types of couples is exhausting and wasteful for no matter what may happen, there will always be some new disaster that must occur with them, but they never can quite leave. These two parasitical people are so obsessive that they cannot stand to be apart. Like a fly to sticky paper they cling desperately onto one another, unable to let go, awaiting their doom with the idea that somehow, this is what a relationship is supposed to feel like. No matter how much frantic persuasion is used by their peers, as well as the rest of the school, they remain attached while they crumble before everyone’s eyes.
Lastly, there is the Classic High School Couple; the ones who often times are played through the cheesy lives of 80s movie teenagers, the ones who do not over play their love by shouting it to anyone who will listen. By remaining off to the sides, and not spending every moment to take the opportunity to take a photo that not even the cheesiest of married couples would take, nor fighting incessantly, they showcase their love in a simple, believable way. At school, you will not find them clinging urgently to one another as the final bell rings throughout the hallways, nor will you find them hissing at each other in front of innocent bystanders as all hell bursts out next to algebra class. Instead, they murmur softly to each other, sharing soft hellos and softer goodbyes as they kiss each other quickly before parting ways, accepting the fact that their partner will still be there when they return. Perhaps, instead of an overplayed, typical couple picture, there will be a goofy, but sweet picture of the two doing something normal together, and not making a big deal out of this ideal “perfect” relationship. From this, the general public does not become instantaneously annoyed, but rather fawns over how seemingly wonderful they are together. Usually, these couples tend to last longer than the childish love that most students have. Instead of having to watch as they split apart and get back together over and over again, it is not a drawn out affair but rather a terrible loss to everyone who knew them. The student body plays favorites, and the deaths of their favorite couples are like a slow funeral, each person shocked and crestfallen as the perfect couple is no longer an item to day dream about. However, it does not become a complete circus, as these couples remain closed off in their affairs, as not one other person becomes involved and no word vomit is thrown up around the general public, or spouted back and forth in a horrific argument. The public does not have to be involved in their problems, they remain personal and private. These couples are not in the least, psychotic nor are they presenting appearances. Their simple, genuine love is displayed properly, and maturely. The smallest gestures have the largest effect on these two true love birds; anyone within a mile of the two can see this as clear as day. This is the standard at which all relationships should go by, and that each person should hold for themselves.
Out of the sea of relationships that develop throughout high school, these are the most common throughout the student body. Unfortunately the healthier relationships are more difficult to come by, as each person has to go through the trial and error of shortcomings and those crazy mistakes that teenager most often make. Even as students mature there is bound to be these irrational relationships amongst the senior classes, only slightly less than that of the young freshman. Each relationship is an experience gained and as time goes on, each person slowly learns what it is they want in a partner. The mistakes of the high school relationship teach individuals a valuable lesson; not every relationship is the same, they are definitely not perfect, but they are a unique opportunity to grow and understand oneself. However, this journey is one that a person needs to make on their own, so, do not drag the rest of high school along with that erratic ride!