I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown as I write this. School is consuming me, and I’m losing touch with what it actually means to learn. Not “learn” in the sense of regurgitating information just to get that elusive “A,” I mean, “learn” in the sense of gaining new insight and accumulation of knowledge to become more enlightened and inspired without worrying about the grade.

Before entering high school, all I wanted to do was learn about everything and anything: philosophy, medicine, psychology, and physics. If you had the opportunity to come in to my house while I was watching TV, you probably would have seen me watching Discovery Channel’s program about Box Jellyfish, or the Science Channel’s feature on with Michio Kaku inspiring me to study String Theory and quantum mechanics. I always used to pride myself on being the student who was more focused on learning than getting a good grade and I vowed never to become the proverbial bookworm upon entering high school. I wanted to learn for the sake of learning. Today’s society puts so much pressure on students to get good grades through conformity of the educational system that the actual comprehension of the subject matter and emphasis on learning is lost, thus inhibiting cognitive growth and obscuring what it actually means to “learn.” Nevertheless, once I entered high school, the enveloping power of grade-related- stress snuck into my brain, implanted an injurious seed, and slowly and parasitically ate my soul and set my mind ablaze in a deluge of subject matter leaving me feeling malevolence for institutionalized education. I’ve determined that it’s not worth it anymore to be caught up with grades because what do they prove anyway? That I’m good at reciting the facts that the teachers want from me? That I can spend six hours after school doing some problems that will help me get a nice ink mark on a white piece of paper? How is this igniting my passion to become a doctor so I can help others?
From this day forward I vow not to become just another high school statistic; a student with a 4.3 GPA who spends his whole high school career feeding the system and losing touch with what it means to live and grow as a person. I vow to pursue my academic interests and passions to the best of my ability, relying on the help of God to lead me in the right direction, helping me to fulfill my long term academic aspirations. I vow to continue embracing my love of “learning.”