So, has anyone ever read The Reason For Not Going to the Ball by Tanith Lee? No? Well, If you had,
you might have already known what this is supposed to be about. Okay, so you don't know Tanith,
you probably do know Cinderella, Snow White, Belle, Aurora, etc. When you think about them, what do
you think about? Princesses, for sure, beauty of course, 'sappy' might cross your mind. But
there is one slightly troubling thing, another phrase that might cross your mind. Or a few. Weak.
Sidekick. Insignificant. Happily Ever After. Yeah, there seem to be a few problems with those. I'm
not going after the classics, so don't get your underwear in a twist (sounding like my grandmother
for the umpteenth time), I'm more going after an image. One that happens to be heavily advertised.
Before you read this, try to turn my voice in your head to that of an old woman, preferably one with
a high pitched trill, here goes.

The pretty little princess, that is so humble and never says a word out of place, so softly spoken,
so polite, so sad that they have to clean, so sad that they have to deal with those horrid
stepsisters. End voice. A few things so far: humble, never a word out of place, so polite. Begin
voice again. Oh! But there's the prince! The prince can now swoop the swooning princess off her
feet, and marry her, and give her a palace and servants, because of course she can't at least put
on her won shoes without servants! Etc.

Those all had some problems, if you didn't notice. The main thing with the princesses, is that
they are always like that. Weak, unable to really fend for themselves, always in the position of
cleaning somehow, or being the servant for a time, and always being quiet, and 'humble', and
their version of polite, which is again, almost never talking to anyone other than themselves, which
is usually in a breathy, pity me, high pitched sing-song voice. Yes, they are children's movies,
yes it is Disney, yes they are classics. It's the nature of the classics instead, that worries me.
The female characters always are in a plight, where they are forced to be servants, but then a
handsome prince rides in and grabs the princess and they all go off to Never-Never Land, Happily
Ever After Land, and so on. The princess is always rescued, and can never do anything to help
herself, it's always the prince that comes in at the last minute, and does anyone notice the
constant thing about kissing them so they awake? That image is so easily and often portrayed, I
mean, it's the 21st century (not about the movies anymore) and it's still being shown
everywhere! Some boys and girls, actually think that things are like that! Since when have you ever
seen a real girl, in real life, faint at the sight of a guy? 'OMG! He has the most amazing
hair!' All I'm saying is, big whoop. If you haven't got what I'm saying yet, lets' have a
scenario.

There was a girl who's father married an evil woman, one who was always nice around the man of the
house, but oh so mean behind closed doors. One day, there was a dance, the prom, at the girls'
high school. She asked if she could go, but she was forbidden, as she had to do chores. Her
step-sisters were in turn given designer dresses and had their hair styled, so that they would be
able to get married, the best thing in the world to ever happen to a girl! So they went, but when
they left and the girl was sobbing so gently, a FAIRY appeared! And asked if she wanted to go to the
dance! The girl of course said yes, and a squash in the yard-garden out back turned into a gigantic
almond-squash car, with the insides so delicious, the taste made the girls' face turn green with
delight! The FAIRY added in as well, to be back by midnight. So the girl appeared at the dance, the
most popular boy at school sees her, dances for hours. It's 11:59, girl sees the clock, girl runs,
leaves behind a shoe. A few days later, boy finds her, the shoe fits, they get married! And the
whole time, the girl said only, 'Yes, I do love dresses!' 'Oh, I am so unfortunate!'
'Please?' 'Pretty please?' Oh! He's so handsome!' 'Yes! I'd love to marry you, even
though I'm 18 and if I'm not then why am I still living with my step-mother and why didn't I
leave on my own and why did I wait for some guy to make me marry him so I can have
'independence' even though I'll end up cooking everything and cleaning and never complaining
for the rest of my life!' 'This is the best day EVER!' Happily. Ever. After.

- ModernBoredom