Helicopter Parenting Needs to Take a Landing | Teen Ink

Helicopter Parenting Needs to Take a Landing

November 11, 2012
By MaryFrancesNolan BRONZE, Steamboat Springs, Colorado
MaryFrancesNolan BRONZE, Steamboat Springs, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

My generation and those since are being subjected to “helicopter parenting”: a disastrous way to raise children by being too involved in their lives, now in full swing for the worst. Being a child of the era, I see the drastic differences between the teenagers living their own life and those whose life is being lived through their parent’s.

The teenage years are about personal discovery. It’s a time when lives take hold without such a strong influence from parents. The lust for making decisions becomes overwhelming as the count-down of high-school approaches. During teen years, parents should begin to back off, allowing the space required for preparation into the world. A person will never learn from their mistakes if they never make a decision. Research shows that too much parental interference may lead to damaging a child’s psychological development by making them lack personal control of their lives (psychcentral.com). The constant pressure applied by parents’ expectations lead teenagers to turn away; no longer confining or accepting potentially helpful advice. Deteriorating a family isn’t worth controlling a loved one’s life.

A marionette and puppeteer relationship isn’t what parents want to portray and isn’t what children want to receive. It’s a selfish act for parents to dictate a life that isn’t theirs. The happiest of children are those who have authoritative parents: powerful parents who allow compromises within reason (theranger.org). A little bit of well thought out advice goes a long way. Parents may think that no teenage son or daughter is going to listen, but we do. Our ears turn off when advice turns to nagging. There’s a fine line between being a perfect parent who is loved and respected by their child and the parent who is overdoing it and pushing their child away. When the young men and women go off on a rebellious adventure of testing boundaries, the wisdom that the parents provide will be used. Discovering personal boundaries can only be done by the person, not through the parents. Boundaries are a wonderful, wanted aspect of young, free life.

No one benefits from helicopter parenting. Everyone wants freedom, especially young adults bound for the awaiting world. For lessons to be learned, mistakes must be made. The problem with helicopter parents is their mistakes aren’t realized until they lose what control they once had over a life that was never theirs.



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This article has 3 comments.


lmcw said...
on Oct. 16 2018 at 12:19 pm
lmcw, Ithaca, New York
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
While I agree that childhood years are about self discovery and growth, this does not necessarily mean that so called “helicopter parenting” will suffocate a child and hinder their ability to become and independent individual. Yes, every child “wants freedom”- but in reality, if parents truly “backed off” and allowed children to do whatever they wanted with very little boundaries, children are very likely to feel less supported and well cared for. Kids should be able to grow up with a sense of security, knowing that their parents will always protect and be there for them when needed. How can children feel this way if parents don’t set boundaries and make decisions for the sole purpose of protecting them? Parent’s aren’t being “selfish” by trying to enforce rules for their children. They are just doing their job of helping their child grow up into a responsible, independent human being. Think about it like this: would you let your dog just wonder off into the streets having had no prior exposure to the world just so that he could have some "freedom"? No of course not, that would make you a terrible dog owner. Your dog might get run over by a car or have no idea how to make it's way home, and the blame would be entirely on you. Because you love and care for your dog, of course you wouldn't let it run off into the world without first enforcing strict rules, like having your dog on a leash. The same goes for parenting: of course you must enforce strict rules and make some hard decisions for your child before you can just send them off into the world all by themselves.That doesn't make you a terrible parent, it just makes you a loving and responsible one!

Additionally, who is more likely to be successful in the future? In my experience, the kids who have “helicopter parents” are the ones who reach their full potential in school and and make good decisions in their life while those who have lax parents who don’t have heavy interference in their children’s lives are the ones who do not have clearly defined goals or a good sense of self. In addition, the children who have parents with little control over their life decisions are also the ones who feel lonely and less loved, leading to some feelings of depression and isolation. Therefore, I truly believe that so called "helicopter parenting" is essential and the best way to bring up a child into a responsible, well cared for and successful individual.

lmcw said...
on Oct. 16 2018 at 12:17 pm
lmcw, Ithaca, New York
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
While I agree that childhood years are about self discovery and growth, this does not necessarily mean that so called “helicopter parenting” will suffocate a child and hinder their ability to become and independent individual. Yes, every child “wants freedom”- but in reality, if parents truly “backed off” and allowed children to do whatever they wanted with very little boundaries, children are very likely to feel less supported and well cared for. Kids should be able to grow up with a sense of security, knowing that their parents will always protect and be there for them when needed. How can children feel this way if parents don’t set boundaries and make decisions for the sole purpose of protecting them? Parent’s aren’t being “selfish” by trying to enforce rules for their children. They are just doing their job of helping their child grow up into a responsible, independent human being. Think about it like this: would you let your dog just wonder off into the streets having had no prior exposure to the world just so that he could have some "freedom"? No of course not, that would make you a terrible dog owner. Your dog might get run over by a car or have no idea how to make it's way home, and the blame would be entirely on you. Because you love and care for your dog, of course you wouldn't let it run off into the world without first enforcing strict rules, like having your dog on a leash. The same goes for parenting: of course you must enforce strict rules and make some hard decisions for your child before you can just send them off into the world all by themselves.That doesn't make you a terrible parent, it just makes you a loving and responsible one!

Additionally, who is more likely to be successful in the future? In my experience, the kids who have “helicopter parents” are the ones who reach their full potential in school and and make good decisions in their life while those who have lax parents who don’t have heavy interference in their children’s lives are the ones who do not have clearly defined goals or a good sense of self.

lmcw said...
on Oct. 15 2018 at 8:24 pm
lmcw, Ithaca, New York
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
While I agree that childhood years are about self discovery and growth, this does not necessarily mean that so called “helicopter parenting” will suffocate a child and hinder their ability to become and independent individual. Yes, every child “wants freedom”- but in reality, if parents truly “backed off” and allowed children to do whatever they wanted with very little boundaries, children are very likely to feel less supported and well cared for. Kids should be able to grow up with a sense of security, knowing that their parents will always protect and be there for them when needed. How can children feel this way if parents don’t set boundaries and make decisions for the sole purpose of protecting them? Parent’s aren’t being “selfish” by trying to enforce rules for their children. They are just doing their job of helping their child grow up into a responsible, independent human being.

Additionally, who is more likely to be successful in the future? In my experience, the kids who have “helicopter parents” are the ones who reach their full potential in school and and make good decisions in their life while those who have lax parents who don’t have heavy interference in their children’s lives are the ones who do not have clearly defined goals or a good sense of self.