The English teacher raises the graded tests. Everyone in the classroom holds their breath in anticipation. It is just another test, one of the hundreds already taken, yet it still bugs you to see the grade. He approaches your desk, sliding the paper while speaking your name. You nervously flip over the paper, and near the top, in a big red circle, is the number 82. Another 82.

As you start to check what you got wrong, your eyes wander towards the next person’s paper. 95. A strong, healthy 95. She smiles, but groans about the few answers she missed. Then the next person shouts in glee as he receives an A, and the next person. You fall into your seat as you begin to believe that everyone had a better grade than you.

Stories like this happen all the time in school, but even more outside the classroom. Jerry is a better singer, Mary is a better artist, Sara has more friends. These statements all focus on different topics, but center around the same idea. Someone is better than you.

Making comparisons with each other is not always a bad thing, but dwelling too much on everything is a problem. If you judge yourself on everyone else’s talents, you’ll forget about your own talents. This leads to a loss of self-esteem, and ultimately feeling less happy. Putting yourself down like this feels like an endless dark spiral of failure twirling around your body.

If it is such a big problem, why do we do this? Our culture may be an important factor. We encourage children to get the highest grades, get the highest paying jobs, and be the very best that no one ever was. In this economy, there are only 10 seats for every 200 that want the spot. Times are changing, and times are hard. There is no denying that it is harder to get into college in 2015 than in 1995.

It is unfair to compare ourselves with each other, and it has to stop. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You might not be a master at dancing, but you might be a master of archery. Where you do poorly on standardized tests, track and field tests might be your forte. Even if you do well in comparing, it will only last for so long. Unfortunately, there is no top of the crop. There is always someone better than you.

So how do we stop this spiral of lowered self-esteem? For starters, we can try to be more aware of these social comparisons. Most of us compare without realizing it. We can focus on our strengths and be happy for what we already have. We can’t be perfect and we need to realize this. We all have special skills individually. We are individuals.

In the end, we are still teenagers. There are endless possibilities available yet there is only so much time in a day, so why spend it worrying about someone better than you?