Dear Ice,

You have taught me so many things throughout the years. I have fallen down on you so many times. From this I have learned two things. One, I am thankful to concrete. I now feel that falling on concrete hurts millions of times less than falling on you. Two, when you fall, pick yourself up. Believe me, you remind me of this everyday. I hate you for saying it sometimes. When I am about to skate clean, and I find on my last landing I am face to face with you. Gosh. I feel like you mock me sometimes when I fall and you make me get up again because now I know how bad it hurts when. Knowing how bad it hurts, I pick myself up, tired of our confrontation, and try again.

You make me sick. All the doubt and stress you have brought to my life. When I can’t figure out how to get a jump and I meet you time and time again. All the frustration and sickening feelings in my stomach. All the yelling at from my coaches for our time together. The coaches you have made me put up with. The  Russian coach who told me time and time again I was bound to be a failure and I was a disappointment. The times I cried because I believed it. The coach who got into my head right before a competition and would change and ruin all my progress.  Even the coaches who from afar judge my skating style and think I am a waste of space. All the people who have brought rain clouds to my rainbow. You are the reason they were there.

However, I can admit you have brought great things too. The friends I have made over the 9 years. Slash makes me smile even when I am about to cry. Tara, constantly reminding me that I need to push myself. Katie, providing the support I need. Lauren, the nicest kid who took me in when I was lost. The one thing that brought us together, you. Also, the memories I have made. The rush of excitement when I got a main solo in the Christmas. The pride I felt when I won my region at the last competition. The synchro team that taught me to be confident and find my voice. None of the memories would have happened without you.

9 years ago, when we first met, I hated you with all my heart. This feeling would go away with experience but I still feel this hate from time to time. I think I speak from the me you made when I say, thank you for the wild ride and here's to what you throw at me next .

Isabel