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Sacred Lotus
I looked up his ex, she’s beautiful
I can’t help but pinch the fatty pieces on my own body
It’s like I’m changing like a light bulb
About to go out flickering on and off basking everyone inconsistent light and darkness
I sometimes want to drown I lay back in my bathtub
But I’m too tall to bring and hold my face under the water
But for the brief time when I’m under, it’s the calmest I have ever felt
Tropical breeze conditioner flavors the air
And my curls play a balancing act with the water
Until I accidentally open the drain with my toes
And I just lay there waiting for the water to finish draining
To leave my cold life filled body
Weighted
Like a rock at the bottom of the sea
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This a reflection of how my mental health wasn't my first priority. My favorite teacher had just taken his life and a good friend of my mine pasted away right after graduating and I had no other way to cope but to write about how I felt like I wasn't grieving the correct way. Without realizing there was no right way.