How To Be a Bad Parent:Parenting 101 | Teen Ink

How To Be a Bad Parent:Parenting 101

September 26, 2022
By Anonymous

Wake up and make sure your child is getting ready for school. 
If they are not, yell at them to purposely make their day worse until your face turns tomato red from screaming. 
Make your way back to your spouse-free room (you divorced six years ago), and revel in the fact that you made your child cry.
Go back to the bathroom in your messy room and look at your rosy-cheeked reflection and mentally prepare for your hectic day of going to work and making your child miserable.
Drive your kid to school while lecturing them about the importance of being kind to others.
Get ready to work at your  9-5 office job. When you arrive at work, treat your coworkers with the kindness and compassion that you do not give to your child.
Walk to your small office, sit down in your chair that you bought off of Amazon, and daydream about how you are going to make your child’s day even worse than it already is. 
Sip your disgusting coffee that is as black as your soul whilst sitting in your comfy office chair.
Brag to all your coworkers about how amazing of a parent you are;meanwhile, your child is crying at school because you yelled at them for no reason. 
On your way home from work, listen to a podcast about how to be a good parent, but completely ignore everything they are saying. 
When you get home from work, remember to scream at your child again and make them even more miserable. 
End the day by reveling in everything you’ve done to make your child sad while laying in your messy, unmade bed. 
Go to bed. Wake up, and repeat the process.


The author's comments:

This piece is satire.
I wanted to produce this piece because I wanted to address how much bad parenting can affect a child's life


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