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Soliloquery
What will I do with my life,
Where will I go?
Who even knows?
Is it even worth it, anymore?
Is my future something I can attain?
Is there serenity after the pain?
Aspirations of grandeur,
Of proving them wrong
I don’t know if I am sure,
That is something I want
Perhaps I could just ride along,
Mediocrity isn’t all that bad
But then would life drudge on?
Will I wish that I had
Done something with my gifts?
That I had done something more than this?
“He had such potential,” they said
And all of it, every talent, went wasted
Or I could just wait and see,
What life might possibly bring
After I finish writing
This odd soliloquery
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A soliloquy in the form of a poem. True to the Spring Collection’s theme of hope, and pondering what is to come, I believe this poem is the literary embodiment of the internal question the boy in “No Clue” faces: “What is to come, and is it worth the now?”
The boy, as is typical throughout these works, is a personification of my emotions.
Oftentimes people, myself included, begin to wonder if their future could possibly be worth the pains they endure in everyday life. There have been moments, including as I was writing this poem, where I sometimes wonder if I should just avoid taking the possibility of a future worse than current life by ending it. Obviously this is not the answer, and so the story continues. (Also the title is a pun of sorts, and also a legitimate word that I have created meaning “A monologue a person has with oneself that is of an inquiring, curious nature, typically when pondering what action they should take.”)