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Stop The Violence MAG

By Anonymous

   Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each otherdown.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have noidea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
Peopleshould think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 198 comments.

EMOEMY GOLD said...
on Dec. 15 2010 at 5:53 pm
EMOEMY GOLD, Flower Mound, Texas
15 articles 2 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If the world didn't suck we would all fall off", "My life's goal is to make those closest smile and laugh", "If you don't like it change it"

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I like your ideas, but I don't think you know HOW you want to say it. It's a good beat but the words don't flow, they seem to trip over themselves. Once you get a little better come back and reword it :)
TheSpiritOfMe GOLD said...
on Dec. 15 2010 at 8:49 am
TheSpiritOfMe GOLD, Fort Waynee, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 21 comments
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I love this . The violence brings back memories.. Read some of my work . ?

R.I.P Frankie , we miss you babe .

edith_55 said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 3:49 pm
i love ure poem it talks good about u ♥________love it
Nyrihaz said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 7:02 pm
Nyrihaz, Isabela, Other
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Listen to the screams a silent room makes"

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I have to say that I really love the meaning of this poem. It expresses the violence in our world perfectly.

A few grammatical errors can be spotted here and there. On the second verse, for example, it should be 'other down' instead of 'otherdown'. But maybe you did the error on purpose, because is an error that is repeated throughout the whole poem on several occasions. If it IS on purpose, then I understand. I liked it, especially this line: “Drugs all over under the ground”. It feels like the line contradicts itself, and that makes it amazing. Sooooo true as well.

Keep writing!

bakachan said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 12:19 pm
It could use some work but I couldn't have said it better!
twigurl13 said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 11:17 am
twigurl13, Valrico, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

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i luv ur poem. It is nicely rhymed and alliterated, and has a topic that has touched my heart. 
OtherOne BRONZE said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 9:44 am
OtherOne BRONZE, Baldwin, Kansas
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
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It is really beyond me why this is rated so well
ShatteredTear said...
on Nov. 1 2010 at 6:15 pm
I agree with this. that and your spelling! It was great but I'm completely confused in  parts because I didn't understnad
nygal252 said...
on Oct. 18 2010 at 5:20 pm
wow... ... ... my still speachless this poem means so much. you say so many things in so little words its ...amazeing i admibe people who speek from the heart again...wow
SamanthaBarwick SILVER said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 11:44 am
SamanthaBarwick SILVER, Brunswick, Georgia
7 articles 2 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic.

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I like the flow of the whole peom.  It speaks the truth and what people really don't want to admit is happening around them.  If enough people actually had the guts to stand up and say stop the violence, we could very well stop some of whats wrong with this world.
Wes Campbell BRONZE said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 5:51 pm
Wes Campbell BRONZE, Burns, Oregon
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
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hmm very good.......
uhilu25 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 2:28 pm
uhilu25 BRONZE, Austin, Texas
3 articles 3 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
i am not bound to win,but i am bound to be true.i am not bound to succeed,but bound to live up to what light i have. -abraham lincon

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ilove this its so true!!!!!
book-keeper26 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 12:40 pm
book-keeper26 BRONZE, Oak Ridge, New Jersey
3 articles 8 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
People come in and out of our lives for a reason, the trick, is knowing when to let them go.. and when to hold onto them even tighter.

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nice idea, but you were a bit too literal. it leaves no room for the reader to imagine  deeper meaning within the concept of violence. by the way your rhyme scheme needs a little work, you had some wrds that didn't exactly rhyme.
BIGPENISBOY said...
on Aug. 8 2010 at 8:28 pm
This was a very interesting poem and didn't understand it though. Please explain and i want to kiss you all over if your a little boy.
coly33 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 5 2010 at 2:24 pm
coly33 BRONZE, Lyndhurst, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 76 comments
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good for u trying to stop the violence in his world

:)

HeatherBee BRONZE said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 4:23 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper<br /> <br /> Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

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nice poem...this is very true and its also got a good meaningful voice. good job ^^ and congrats on it getting published:)
live.create16 GOLD said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 8:33 am
live.create16 GOLD, Dedham, Maine
11 articles 4 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. <br /> - Louisa May Alcott.

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i really like this poem. it holds very true to how the world is today!
jasmine123 said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 4:16 pm
i think everything in this poem is true and we do need to work together as a community to get it back the way it was
bloodypoet GOLD said...
on May. 26 2010 at 12:04 pm
bloodypoet GOLD, Los Lunas, New Mexico
17 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
you live until you die but if you can&#039;t live then you can&#039;t die.

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the meaning in this poem is amazing every point is true.
HeatherBee BRONZE said...
on May. 9 2010 at 9:37 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper<br /> <br /> Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

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true that!! awesome poem. it had real meaning