There is a strange pain,
Begging to get out.
These twisted lips,
Hold a silenced shout.

And I ask myself:

“Why do I feel this way?
Regretting the past day.

Making the wrong choice,
Ignoring my inner voice.”

I feel weak, feel used-
Feel desperate, disgusted,
And I feel confused…

What is there now,
For me to smile about?
What is there now,
I’m undergoing doubt.

Why am I so…
Idiotic and impulsive?
Why must I…
Suffer as I live?
What can I do…
To mend what is broken?
What do I want…
With myself- a worthless token.

I don’t pray and don’t sleep,
My mind goes too deep…
To not wonder what it might be like-
What it might be like to be a person free,
Free of anxiety and of worry.
Free to have the nature of me-
And still be alright…
Not regret another night.

I don’t quite know what to do,
I think I might just love you,
But with no title I won’t be true,
It’s just plain fact-
I hate your act.
Acting as though you care,
All you want is my skin bare.

And to be honest I’m threw,
You never came on at your cue,
You left me standing there in shame,
Left me standing there….
Now who’s to blame.

It’s really my fault-
I betrayed you with these lips,
I abandoned faith-
I took some wild trips.

A ride of insanity-
That brought me right around…
To a stranger in the mirror-
Awkwardly silenced sound,
And sticky blackened cheeks…
That make my image all the more gross-
Putrid and morose…

I am unworthy of your love,
I am unworthy of anything you offer-
Ignore my pleads, ignore them..
As they grow softer…
Into a tone you almost cannot hear,
Into a tone you almost…
…..cannot…
……hear…