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All Those Daisies

August 7, 2012
By so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
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so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see."

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Daisies torn from the ground.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals ripped from their stem.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Daisies captured by the dozen.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals plucked off silently, quickly.
I love him, I love him not.
Fields of daisies gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals in heaps.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Not a daisy in sight.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals drifting in the breeze.
I love him, I love him not.
Everything is gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Except my love for him,
The only daisy left in an empty field.
He loves me, he loves me
Not.

© Anna R, Sudbury, ON, Canada

The author's comments:
This piece is about a girl being so in love with someone that she ruins something beautiful in order to get an answer from him (the daisies). In the end, she finds out that he doesn't love her after all, which is what the "not" on the last line represents.
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This article has 61 comments.

NeVassa GOLD said...
on Sep. 22 2012 at 11:49 pm
NeVassa GOLD, Ft. Belvoir, Virginia
18 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Oh god I was a stupid twelve year old

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This was great! :)
so_joy SILVER said...
on Sep. 10 2012 at 5:28 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see."

View profile
Thank you!
garshongjasmine SILVER said...
on Sep. 10 2012 at 2:32 pm
garshongjasmine SILVER, Accra, Other
7 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
happiness resides not in possesions, and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -democritus

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i really love the repetion, and the picture was awesome.
so_joy SILVER said...
on Sep. 6 2012 at 3:54 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!!
MarieAntoinette2014 DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 6 2012 at 10:09 am
MarieAntoinette2014 DIAMOND, Scottsburg, Indiana
54 articles 2 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isn&#039;t it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones that love us.

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This is really creative. I like it and good job!!!
MarieAntoinette2014 DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 6 2012 at 10:09 am
MarieAntoinette2014 DIAMOND, Scottsburg, Indiana
54 articles 2 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isn&#039;t it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones that love us.

View profile
This is really creative. I like it and good job!!!
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 30 2012 at 5:53 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 30 2012 at 5:52 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!
amber603 GOLD said...
on Aug. 29 2012 at 10:14 pm
amber603 GOLD, Durango, Colorado
10 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That&#039;s where I will always love you. That&#039;s where I&#039;ll be waiting.&quot; - J.M.B.<br /> <br /> To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.&quot; - J.K.R.

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I enjoy the back and forth of the poem. Every creative. Keep it on, girl!
Aderes47 GOLD said...
on Aug. 28 2012 at 10:59 pm
Aderes47 GOLD, Cambridge, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 897 comments

Favorite Quote:
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. <br /> Henry Drummond

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Story of my life! Fell in love with my best friend(still am) and when he told me he didn't like me, well..I did the same thing, now I feel a little guilty! Great poem! :) Keep thhem coming!
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 18 2012 at 7:56 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!
Shahiro PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 18 2012 at 10:34 am
Shahiro PLATINUM, Johnston, Iowa
20 articles 2 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Soon we must all choose between what is right and what is easy.&quot; - Dumbledore (Goblet of Fire)

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Oh my, that is a bit sad I think. It is very beautiful though nice work.
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 6:04 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!!
writer3499 GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 2:02 am
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;it&#039;s impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default.&quot;<br /> -J.K.Rowling

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wow. I loved the repetition!  i also loved the ending becasue you finfished with "he loves me Not" It's reallly sad but its reallly powerful! I don't think there is anything about this poem that I don't like!!
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 13 2012 at 7:20 am
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!!
shaylapurple16 PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 12 2012 at 10:37 pm
shaylapurple16 PLATINUM, Hong Kong, Other
29 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Writing doesn&rsquo;t mean deciding to sit still all of your life and think. Ideas come from living and experiencing life, and then stepping back to think.&quot; -Shayla

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Wow, I loved this poem so much. I loved how it told a story and was still rhythmic and everything. It was great!  
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 9 2012 at 1:49 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you so much, and I will definitely look into these critiques.
KylieK GOLD said...
on Aug. 9 2012 at 9:52 am
KylieK GOLD, Mt. Washington, Kentucky
11 articles 0 photos 270 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;To love is to surpass one&#039;s self.&quot;

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Poetry is not just about expressing your emotions, but it’s also about telling a story and painting imagery. You started out at the very beginning, saying, “he loves me, he loves me not.” But, then, you switched back and forth quite a few times, going from the girl’s inner emotions, to the boy’s inner emotions. It was a little confusing. Since you noted that at the end, the reader finds that the boy doesn’t genuinely love the girl, you should sort through the girl’s emotions first, waiting until the end to directly tell the reader he doesn’t truly love her. That way, you have a more thorough story line without interrupting the imagery. Also, don’t break so often. You should have a stanza, filled with imagery to create a scene. Then, you propose an emotion. With all that said, it would be like this, for example: “Daisies torn from the ground,
Petals ripped from their stem-
Daisies captured by the dozen;
Petals plucked off silently, quickly; I love him, I love him not.” But, I do love the slight procrastination. How you slowly made the field empty instead of having her lash out and rip them all out at once. “Daisies torn from the ground.
Petals ripped from their stem.
Daisies captured by the dozen.
Petals plucked off silently, quickly. I love him, I love him not. Fields of daisies gone,
Petals in heaps;
Not a daisy in sight-
Petals drifting in the breeze. I love him, I love him not. Everything is gone.
Except my love for him,
The only daisy left in an empty field.
(Suggestion: Place more imagery in the beginning, so the reader can anticipate until the very end that not only is the field empty, but, she is, as well. It’s also a slightly incomplete fraction of the poem.) He loves me, he loves me
Not.” Though, despite anything, you promise potential. J   P.S., sorry if I made any spelling errors. It's hard to check in this little box. - Kylie
so_joy SILVER said...
on Aug. 8 2012 at 7:11 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 722 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see.&quot;

View profile
Thank you! I would love to hear your critiques, because I want to make this poem the best it can be.
KylieK GOLD said...
on Aug. 8 2012 at 6:01 pm
KylieK GOLD, Mt. Washington, Kentucky
11 articles 0 photos 270 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;To love is to surpass one&#039;s self.&quot;

View profile
(P.S. The large breaks in between my sentences were intended places of indention. On my specific computer program, it isn't showing the indentions. I'm not sure if it's like this on your computer, I was just letting you know.)   Sorry for leaving such a trail of words!   Kylie