When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a boy.
So I would piss standing up and I would break all my toys.
I would never wear skirts, I would only wear pants,
and I would try to run away if I ever got the chance.
'Cause see I've always wanted to live in France.
Where I could prance
and learn to dance
and watch the ants
go marching one by one
Hurrah Hurrah...

When I was a kid, I always thought boys had cooties.
So they would chase us around and try to touch our booties
I mean we were beauties
But we acted quite snooty.
They were just trying to be our groups.
But then you touched me
Though I always thought you were overrated,
I was in trouble 'cause I hadn't been vaccinated.
Circle circle dot dot
I looked at my skin, I swore I saw spots
I was starting to rot
I screamed "Help me!" cause I'd just been shot
I'm feeling quite hot.
Or is it just you.
'Cause when I saw you winter turned to spring
But I wanted to get married and you were to young to buy a ring
I guess you were only eight
You weren't looking to date
You were looking for some legos and some rules to break
You were just learning how to masturbate.
And it felt so funny, 'cause it felt so wrong
But it felt so right when you looked at her thong.
What was that song?
The one that reminded me of you.
The one about the girl with the tattoo
she'll always have you,
just like a tattoo.
And Jordin Sparks a memory in my mind,
the day in may when the sun just shined
and I guess sympathy wasn't defined.

Because when I told you I liked you,
you know like more than a friend.
Like how I would pretend
not to look
and I shook
when you took my breath away.
So when I told you I liked you,
you know like liked you
the like where I would fall off my bike for you
The like where I would find a needle in a haystike for you
I mean haystack.
Sorry I'm losing my words, you put my out of whack.

So when I told you I liked you,
Like liked you, more than a friend liked you,
you laughed.
You popped a hole in my life raft.
You made sure I would endure
because for eight I was way to insecure.
And I was always over weight
I would snack super late
But I just wanted one kiss,
one kiss and I would stop eating hostess.

But you'll never like me
because I'm nothing to see.
I'm just a girl with problems with monogamy.
And I don't know where to go from here,
there is no location on my yelp.
This is a problem I doubt Maury could even help.
Because I'm lost in my own world while you're basking in the glory.
I just need to find a moral to this story.