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Pitter Patter Literature
July 20, 2013
Tear stained windows cried.
Scarce light glimmered nothing.
Soundless yellow streaked.
Marches dictated skies
Waiting, sheets crumpled,
lone silhouette ingrained.
"Come back," she whispered.
Invitation denied.
Right brain activate.
Black text conquered white page.
Raced against sunrise,
or endangered words fade.
Daylight forms writer's block.
Dark temporized the fear.
Storms ceased empty minds.
"Sorry bed."- restless night.
Letters submerged, then
rapidly reappeared.
Creativity
-replenished (until dawn.)
Fingertips craved ears,
despite former hushed lips.
Click, clack cooed sweet keys.
I listened, sleep-deprived.
© Melissa W., Fayetteville, GA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 11 comments.
WriteOrWrong BRONZE said...
on Jul. 31 2013 at 7:51 pm
Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!
WriteOrWrong BRONZE said...
on Jul. 31 2013 at 3:47 pm
I like you. Haha, it is rare to find someone like you but because you are so sweet I will just pick something random anyway. :)
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Jul. 31 2013 at 2:39 pm
Sure, will do! :D Don't worry about reading my stuff, just think of it as free feedback since I like your writing.
sophistryxo SILVER said...
on Jul. 31 2013 at 11:36 am
This is great! I love the title and your phrasing! Not to mention that your vocabulary is excellent! Keep writing poetry!
WriteOrWrong BRONZE said...
on Jul. 29 2013 at 9:02 pm
Thanks so much! That was really helpful. Actually I would really love if you could look at 'Stop! No, You Stop!' What would you like me to look at for you? Or is anything okay?
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2013 at 7:07 pm
I adore your vocabulary here! Amazing word choice! In some areas, it feels like the syllable count got in the way (as it's a bit choppy), but otherwise I admire your work here! If you would like for me to read any other pieces, please let me know; I'd be happy to XD
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 26 2013 at 5:37 pm
Well, it's just that for me, I think free verse is the easiest because you just do what you want with it and you aren't following rules.. and I think when people are just getting a feel for poetry they should start with free verse because they are just trying it out and they want to enjoy it.. not stress themselves by going on a certain count. 'Free' verse gives ya 'free'dom! And it's no biggie, but if you feel like it, I could use some feedback on my new poem 'To She Who Had A Secret':)
WriteOrWrong BRONZE said...
on Jul. 25 2013 at 2:00 pm
Thank you for the encouragement. And really? I always thought syllable counts were easier because they had a format to follow. Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked the title :) Let me know if you need any feedback, I would be happy to give some.
WriteOrWrong BRONZE said...
on Jul. 25 2013 at 1:58 pm
Thanks so much for your feedback. I have a few songish poems that I've been messing around with and then I was like hey I think this is free verse so I am trying to get those posted. Thanks again :)
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 25 2013 at 2:58 am
Hello! The title is really interesting and I think will catch reader's eyes, so it's always good to have a great title as it's the first thing the reader will see. For your first time with poetry I think you did an excellent job and I think you should continue to experiment! The set-up is really nice and for poetry being abit new to you, it's impressive that you went along with a syllable count instead of doing just free verse since it's so much easier. I love your inspiration, nature; rain is such a beautiful thing to write about. I think you did a wonderful job with this! The descriptions are very clear and easily visualized by the reader. I hope you'll continue to write poetry.. it's really beautiful!
laceandcoffee PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 25 2013 at 12:36 am
This is really good considering your just begining to feel out poetry. Maybe try some free verse sometime. Having more freedom in what and how you can write really helps you more comfortably define your style. I think you have potential! Keep going!
