One Last Wish | Teen Ink

One Last Wish

October 6, 2008
By Anonymous

When the mountains start to crumble
And tumble to the ground,
My dreams will be crushed,
I’ll be suppressed of sound.

When the deep ocean trenches have come to swallow us up
And sup the life from within,
My emotions will sink in the cool waters.
I’ll drown in the world’s sins.

When the cities fold in on themselves
And street signs sigh with grief,
My loves will collapse.
I’ll be trapped in empty streets.

When the sky descends towards the Earth
And all hope seems as good as gone,
My one last wish before we’re done --
I’ll be with you before the strike of dawn.


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This article has 30 comments.


LifeofEd775x said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 3:07 am
Really well composed, great imagery and the emotion is strong. Please, more from this author.

Trinric said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 3:01 am
Wonderful poem. I really like your voice and style. Hope to see you write some more poems in the future.

on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:54 am
love the last paragraph, and overall the poem itself is very deep. The very strong emotion I received from this poem was that love is all you need to get through bad times.

kathylopes said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:39 am
great poem! i wish i could write that well! i like the imagery. keep writing! :)

Strangnight said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:38 am
I love this poem Very good work in my opinion!

drzplaya13 said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:35 am
Great poem!! Loved it especially the 3 verse =) nice job

franzxcap32 said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:35 am
that was enlightening! i really think your metaphors are fantastic. rather astonishing really.

Horrison said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:34 am
the poem has good meaning and direction but a poem with such a mood like this should really use some form of intensifying imagery because you really want the speakers voice to emphasize either at the end or in the middle some type of death feeling of ad ifinitum blackness and then reverse it to love eternal

PoetryMan101 said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:31 am
I liked this poem, specifically its use broad use of precise images to describe your feeling. The only bit of constructive criticism I'd offer (you don't have to listen to it) is to look at the rhythm and the way the words flow together. But that's just me. Overall, I like it! :)

Warmgun said...
on Oct. 11 2008 at 2:26 am
I love it, it really speaks a dark, ominous, pessimistic tone. Keep it up!