New Ray of Sunshine | Teen Ink

New Ray of Sunshine

June 12, 2015
By LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula


A creature for naught, I rot at her touch
And yet I am caught, It’s far too much,
Not crushed by the rush, I am speechless
As her eyes pierce my guise, an end reachless
As the world that didn’t want me, yet
She moves closer to me, my desires whet,
I can’t help but pull her into this hell
This hole in which she falls, I fell
And now her virgin lips will soon taste mine
I find that she is too in reach, too kind
For me to bring her to this world of love
Much harsher than a push or shove
It’s pain waiting to happen, hate before it’s sprout
For is that not what young love is all about?

She is my chalice, my holy jewel
Still nature stands so cruel
As she would come to me with such a gem
That I may ruin, that I may condemn
To a world she had not yet seen
An obscene scene as it had been
When I arrived and I’m sure as I leave
It will not change and none shall grieve

Such precious white snow, no dent
No imprint or marks in it show, sent
Down to this gent, hellbent on another chance
And hopefully I will take her and dance
Show her the world as I wish to view it
Smile, smile, she will get used to it
For it’s all I can seem to do around her
As time moves fast, it’s a shrouded blurr
Sure, it’s weightless at first, but I’m sure it will burst
As every time before her, as all others were

This smiles lasts for now, I guess that’s all I can ask
So as the sunlight shines, I’ll stand on this hill and bask.
 


The author's comments:

I'm far more cheerful now than I have been a long time. I took a break from writing as I didn't have much new stuff to write about (I wanted to take a break from heartbreak) and I felt like I was "over writing, exhausting my creative fumes as it were. I hope it's not any less that what you guys have come to expect from me, enjoy!


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This article has 5 comments.


Beila BRONZE said...
on Jul. 13 2015 at 9:44 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

I'm dying of cuteness. Seriously. It's choking me. ;) No but really, I just read through this again, and I don't know why I didn't mention it in my original comment, but I have to point out how much I love the rhymes in dent/sent/gent/hellbent, not only because I love that you're the kind of guy who would use "gent" casually but also because I love the tone you effect with your use of the word "hellbent" and the way it all sounds together. You really capture something Other in your writing, some layer of emotion I think most of us are not even consciously aware of. It's such a very great privilege to read your thoughts through these poems and to somehow discover every time that as much as they reveal you, they are likewise a window into myself for me.

on Jul. 3 2015 at 10:29 pm
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula

She is not to read them until a certain pre-determined time for maximum romance, as that is the kind of person that I am X3 though, she is aware that there is poetry I have written about her, she has no idea where to find it :P

Beila BRONZE said...
on Jul. 3 2015 at 1:05 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

"The experience"? ;) Honestly, I'm so happy for you and for her (lucky girl) and for me that I get to read your poetry again! Do we get an encoded name for this one? Wait, and do you share what you write with her? That would be too cute.... Funny because that question was originally rhetorical, but now I'm glad I got that answer. Your tense description makes me think of God's self-titled "I Will Be What I Will Be" in Exodus. Kind of makes me return to your "A God," where I've wondered since your first comment back to me (Remember what that was?) how much of that was artistry and how much was just exposing this secretly true view you have of yourself, not in an arrogant way at all, but in a way that just is truth. You have an insight into life unique to you. I think what makes your writing so compelling is that that's where you reveal this part of you, and there is nothing like it anywhere else. By the way, I read what you wrote just now about time aloud to my friend, who responded, "That's his poetry?" I said, "No, that's how he replies to my comments on his poetry." Her jaw hit the ground- see, it's not just me! :) Hope this comment met your expectations. I know mine for your next poem are pretty through the roof. No pressure. ;)

on Jul. 3 2015 at 7:40 am
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula

Yes, yes :P and clever of you to see my name in the title. Glad to see my skills haven't rusted, however in answer to your question; I've always written about the past, present, and future, only I've lumped them all into one, creating a world of "what was is, and always will be," as that is my constant mindframe. The world, and time itself, repeat themselves quite often, so often, in fact, that its hard to recognize when they overlap. I write in this way, hoping to gain a unique perspective, a world that changes through means of repeating itself can be quite gloomy with small pockets of light inbetween. :3 The next piece will be kinda similar, only slightly further along in the experience. Look forward to your next comment :3

Beila BRONZE said...
on Jul. 3 2015 at 4:14 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

You met another girl!!! :P (Excuse me, I'm having a dumb, fun little middle school girl moment here. Okay, composing myself.... Yes. I'm almost out of high school. Not in middle school. You're a real person with a real life. Okay. Ready. Back to the comment-->) This is as beautiful as anything you have up here. No less in any way--I love! The imagery is divine (I know you're into that adjective), and I really like your name pun in the title. You do a great job painting a picture of the struggle between keeping yourself and her from hurt and taking that next chance for all it's worth. The symbols are the bomb- the snow especially. I love the last full stanza most. It's very sweet, innocent, and pure. I haven't really seen a ton of that from you before. I think it's that word "hopefully." When was the last time you were writing about a future instead of a past? Good to have you back. :)