Disgusingly Obsessed | Teen Ink

Disgusingly Obsessed

May 10, 2016
By natu.mlikota SILVER, AVENTURA, Florida
natu.mlikota SILVER, AVENTURA, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It is this inevitable force.
You blink and I can feel those alluring lids shutting together with this magical tide born
from your lashes fluttering all the way to my undeserving face.
I yell and scream and screech, but you
don't hear the slight insignificant
buzz.

In a world full of noise and clamor and buzzing
I wish I could just grab you by your magnificent cheeks and force
you to zoom in on me and listen. I can't control this need, as if I were born
to be examined by you, to have the full dedication of that resplendent face.
Not looking my way, you
make me feel like a microscopic tick, so insignificant.

It just surprises me, the insignificance
of it all, the point of it all. I still won't stop, like a wasp needs to buzz
in order to sting. I was meant to devote myself to you, to believe that the force
of my craving would soon win over your heart, that your affection for me would be born
out of pity, and grow to be so much more. That the second our faces
met, the sudden realization that this overwhelming need is mutual would engulf you.

You and me and me and you
such a complexity affecting only one. You, failing to find an insignificant
aspect attractive of a poor young obsessive girl entranced by the eternal buzz
of our someday paramount love. This uncontrollable force
keeps me going no matter if your love for the other woman was born
a long time ago, i promise it will perish, and the day will come when you’ll only see my face.

Everyday I pass people, souls, men, women, bodies, faces
but none have ever bewitched me like yours.
Every resilient effort I make is utterly and completely insignificant.
It's undeniable, we all hear what the people buzz
about, about a pathetic little girl who was taken by a force
stronger than all, who fell in love from the moment she was born.

So, here I am, crouched down, sobbing, as if I was born
again, the hope and sorrow and jealousy  and pain disfiguring my face
knowing this was all caused by my love for you.
By the sole masochism of the foundation of my being, knowing that's it's insignificant
and that I can not blame you, I know the pain, and I crave it and its buzz
I have grown comfortable of the agony, so I let myself be controlled by this unnatural force.


Buzz buzzing buzzed.
It flies straight to my face.
It mocks. It taunts. It displays complete ascendance of force.



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