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Secret
April 1, 2009
Alone,
with vacuous
eyes staring blindly.
Quiet, but for tumultuous
noises inside an already befuddled
mind. Silently, I sit, brow furrowed,
lost in thought, in an engulfing emptiness
that I have created, and I know that
I have a secret, and the secret is mine.
© Krystal B., Bloomingdale, IL
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 37 comments.
Anonymous_7 SILVER said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 9:17 pm
This is a cool way to write a poem. and a great piece of work. would you mind and check out some of my work? Thanks!
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 21 2009 at 9:51 am
I can't stop reading this poem! it's so good! :D Talented alert!!!! :D *Favorites*
FreakyEyed DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 7 2009 at 7:01 pm
Powerful. The last three lines were incredible! "in an engulfing emptiness
that I have created..." this reminded me of some of Poe's works, because of the element of madness/self-inflicted loneliness. It was melancholy and wonderful. Five stars!
that I have created..." this reminded me of some of Poe's works, because of the element of madness/self-inflicted loneliness. It was melancholy and wonderful. Five stars!
Joanna said...
on Sep. 1 2009 at 7:55 pm
'Ello! I'm glad you liked my photograph. It is, in fact, posed. This particular one is the "Your loved one is jumping off a bridge" scenario. I posted it, although my personal safety is being threatened by the poser, because I thought it was perfect how the background was blurred while she is clear. I have no idea how that happened. I am not a photgrapher.
I already commented on this once before and I just saw the comment you made pertainting to my remark. I admire the theory in this poem, showing the "growth of the secret".
You have such talent for poetry! I admit, I'm at least a little bit envious.
Cheers!
I already commented on this once before and I just saw the comment you made pertainting to my remark. I admire the theory in this poem, showing the "growth of the secret".
You have such talent for poetry! I admit, I'm at least a little bit envious.
Cheers!
hey!
you commented my poem yonks ago, and so i feel i should comment yours back!
i really like this, the way it is constructed, the way it gets longer on each line.
and i love the ending!
it is such a good decisive ending.
you really capture the uncomfortable feeling and insecurity of having a secret.
i always have difficulty with endings :(
you commented my poem yonks ago, and so i feel i should comment yours back!
i really like this, the way it is constructed, the way it gets longer on each line.
and i love the ending!
it is such a good decisive ending.
you really capture the uncomfortable feeling and insecurity of having a secret.
i always have difficulty with endings :(
poetic_natural GOLD said...
on Aug. 27 2009 at 1:13 am
very very impressive!!!! keep wirting cuz your poetry is great
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 30 2009 at 3:52 pm
it was good. This is like free verse poetry from the ellen hopkins books somehow. It's very beautifly written.
Joanna said...
on Jun. 25 2009 at 1:32 am
I really like the form you used for the poem. In my opinion, secrets always take their toll, one was or another. But if I'm going to be totally honest with you, I like this poem mostly because you used the word "befuddle" in it. Awesomness. ^_^
First of all, I want to say thank you so much for the comment and constructive criticism!It really helps! I appreciate it! Anyway, I like this piece of yours. Its short with a lot of meaning and I could feel it. Keep up the good work! And again, Thanks so much!
I like free verse personally, and don't really have fave poet. Poe is good, but I like his sayings better than his poetry. My fave is:
"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
Don't ask me why. I just do. You, however, are much better than he is. You are different in your own special way.
"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
Don't ask me why. I just do. You, however, are much better than he is. You are different in your own special way.
HollywoodFuture BRONZE said...
on May. 15 2009 at 7:44 pm
this is pretty good . i like it . i like it, because we all know what's it's like to hold a secret . bravo, bravo ! :)
kick3593, if you had read some of my earlier comments, you would have read that secrets bother me to no end. This is clear in my poem. Although you might personally feel differently, I feel that this much was clear, and that as you are the minority when you say that secrets are to be cherished, you should therefore not state this as a known fact. As I clearly state in my poem, a secret is befuddling to me and makes me feel alone and empty. Therefore, a secret grows and consumes me, and is most certainly not a pleasant thing to have and know.
