I Had to Go | Teen Ink

I Had to Go

May 10, 2018
By Distance_Fly_Rocks BRONZE, Park City, Utah
Distance_Fly_Rocks BRONZE, Park City, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"School is important, but swimming is importanter


They caused me pain
They told me to go away
They made sure that every day
I wanted to live a different way

I made the choice to listen to them
I soaked up everything they told me and actually admired them

Because they had to guts to say what they needed to say
And told me I don’t deserve to live another day

The razors in my room
They help me escape but they’re really my doom
I cut my problems away
And try to remember the hateful things that they say

You’re ugly
I cut
You’re worthless
I cry
You’re stupid
I die
You give me a reason to want to say goodbye

I’ve given up
I take out my notebook and pencil and write while hanging the rope up
I stand on my chair while wearing this necklace of fear
Hoping it will soon be the end, and peace will be right there.

I put my foot on the back of the chair
More ready than ever to face my worst fear
But then a flashback comes to mind
And suddenly I don’t want to die

I feel like I have to go
Leave this world
And be free on my own

Nobody wants me here
Nobody knows
The devastating life I’m living
I just want to be a ghost


I go back to the chair
Again ready to face this fear

Put the rope around my neck
As I frantically cry
And think what the heck

I push on the back of the chair
No one to stop me, no one too near

The chair falls to the floor
While I’m being choked more and more

Now the hard part is done
I just wish it would have been more fun

The life I had
The only one I knew
Was miserable
And it was all because of you


The author's comments:

This piece is about a girl who struggles at school and gets severely depressed. Through her efforts to fight her suicidal thoughts, it eventually took over and she ended her own life.


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