i take back my friendship.

i take back the notes we passed in english class,
the secrets told and memories shared and promises of “best friends forever”,
our secret codes,
walking around our neighborhood,
sitting in your room playing guitar and singing and talking for hours,
hanging around at crescent park and the beach eating candy and
carving our names into a tree “annie and ellla bffl” and
sitting outside school listening to the beatles-

i take it all back.

i take back my tears
that i cried when you turned against me;
and i take back the years
i spent missing how you used to be.

i take back the part of me you stole
and carry myself from you so far
away from the wreck that you are;
and i let myself be made whole
of who i completely am and not the
destruction you made me into.

i take back the ruined life you laid
for me to live and
i take back the person i was that you made
me to be and
i take back letting myself grieve
our ending;
i take back the lies you forced me to believe
that made me a slave to your cruelty;
a slave to your memory.

i take back the years of hurt that i carried so quietly;
suffering because you made me believe
i deserved it-
i take back all the pain and i leave.

i take all the words you used to hurt me,
and all the things you did to destroy me,
and i finally let myself be free
from your misery.

i take back my friendship.