Ice. Ice is the only thing I can compare this too. It is like being trapped under the ice, under the ice with a thin bubble of air. You can breath, but only ever so slowly and shallowly. Breath too deep, and your lungs fill with the sting of a torrent of water. You can look up, see through the blue ice, you can watch the world, but you can’t quite interact. You are oh so afraid that any action you take could ruin you. There is this instinct to protect this lie you are living in, and although you don’t even know what you're protecting, you cling to it. And, through all of this the water around you, that which your floating in is constantly sapping the heat from you. You look up, and you get to the point you're almost frozen, and then you see someone, it’s a person that, although you have a feeling is poison, radiates heat, and it thins the ice, but it refreezes as they walk away, and there never there when you get to the point you need them, there only there fast enough to rewarm you. But that person eventually leaves and the warming job is transferred. But it is now as you do whatever you do to cope with it that it radiates in your brain. You want for the person to reach through the ice and grab you, pull you up and hold you, but they never do. I write to cope, but some people do dangerous things, some people cut, some people smoke, some people drink. But, just remember that if a person seems especially clingy, you shouldn’t walk away, you stay, stay and hold them, hold them for as long as they need.