It’s time to get ready again, my worst and favorite part of the day

It’s my favorite because it means it’s a new day and I get to do new activities

But it’s the worst part of my day because I have to experience hating my body once more

Seeing myself in the mirror it isn’t pleasant seeing the reflection bouncing back

Seeing the wrinkles forming around my eyes, the non-existent eyebrows I have

The longitas surrounding my stomach, the stretch marks that surround the body I’m supposed to live in and enjoy life with

Seeing cute clothes at the trendy stores such as H&M and Forever 21 and knowing they won’t have my size or that it just won’t look good on me

None of the mannequins look like me and as a matter fact they tend to not look like anyone

Nobody resembles that body shape

Seeing beautiful celebrities like Kylie Jenner, Alexis Ren and Chrissy Teigen getting praised on the body they so confidently wear, making it their own and nobody else's

But I also see celebrities like Tess Holliday and Kim Kardashian who get hate for being confident and happy with their bodies

It makes girls more self conscious, trying to see when they’ll finally be enough for society to like them back

I was born in an era where everything is about looks, especially with social media ruling our country

Where people have to worry more about how they look then how they feel, how a picture is more important than words and feelings

It’s unbelievable that we live in a society where people are quite judgemental on how you look, to them the only thing they see when they see you is your body

The things they say of your body stay repeating in your head, those words stay hidden behind your big body (which they think you have, yet you don’t)

Day after day, you look at your body completely different

Each day noticing something more you hate or something you don’t have

Something you want to change, something you wish you never had

Things that you see as utter flaw, while there are other people in the world wishing they had what you hate the most

But don’t get me wrong I of course have days where I hate my body a tad bit less, perhaps it was when someone finally said something nice about a feature I loathe

Simple sayings such as “you have a nice smile” and “you look so cute in that shirt”, can make my day so much better because you don’t know what happened earlier that morning

How I had a total breakdown because I felt that my shirt made me look triple the size I actually am

How I hate smiling because my teeth aren’t white nor straight, and it’s also when my dimples pop out more

How those things that probably didn't mean nothing to you, meant the whole world to me

That’s why I try to always compliment someone on something, because you never know if they might need it the most

I can’t tell you how many times I have skipped on doing something fun and enjoyable because the depression that comes along with body dysmorphia weighed me down more than how I actually weigh

Staying inside my house because it’s the only place I feel comfortable without being judged, until my other family members arrive that’s when life goes downhill again.

This society praises on being “woke” and “accepting everyone as they are”, if you praise this then why did you still say the hurtful things you said to me or to the next person

But yet you see shows on TLC such as “ My 600 lb life” depicting people overweight being miserable and ashamed, that doesn’t make me feel better, just so you know

Do you think it was worth it saying to that kid what you said, he ended up almost commiting suicide just so you know

Be careful of what you say…….

Because it will never be worth it

Will it?

Don’t give up

Don’t let your fight die

Don’t let them win

Because it’ll never be worth it

Won’t it?