she smiles at me
nervously
almost laughing
hesitates
and tugs down the wristband
cuts
red and small
and she pulls it up again
i look at her
tiredly
and she half-smiles
i know
i should be supportive
i should comfort her
i should hug her
and beg her to stop
i should do
so
many
things
but i don’t
i just look at her
tiredly
and spread my hands
helplessly
i should tell her it’s okay
i should tell someone
i should be angry
i should care
but i just
don’t
i’m just tired
i watch her face fall at my expression
i watch her walk away
and i just sit there
stupidly
and think about how many cuts
i have seen
how much rage and fear and
death
i have seen
and i can’t muster any tears for her
i just sit there
silently
and say nothing