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I Carry
I carry an emptiness flooded with space
No one can see it but I feel the pain
I see people happy, laughing, wanting
But I don't want I need
Stability, laughter, freedom
Things that have been left behind
A war I fight with myself but my weapons never work
Fighting to fill the emptiness drains me even more
Consumed by hatred for my own skin
I try to fit in
Fighting fighting fighting where to I begin
I change my clothes, my hair, my complection
Trying desperately to hide from the enemy
But she finds me and labels me an imposter
Stripped of my disguise I am left
Naked and exposed they see the truth
That I am broken, worn out, and used
My personality drained and replaced
I carry an emptiness flooded with space
No one can see it but I feel the pain
Beating me down until there is nothing left
I crawl into a hole like some unwanted pest
I cry out for help but my words don’t make sense
Instead of “help me” the words what come out are
“I’m happy”
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A lot of teens struggle to "fit in" and end up changing themselves over time. They fight with themselves thinking thoughts of self harm and suicide. They hide their emotions by dressing a certain way and they say that they're ok when in reality they're screaming out for help. This piece symbolizes my story. Bullying, fighting myself, trying to fit in, screaming out for help when no one but me seemed to understand what was happening. I felt unwanted and I needed help but I had no idea how to express that to someone on the outside looking in. Depression is different for everyone. This is just one story.