You try to keep it inside

but as soon as they said something

something trivial as

‘you could’ve done better’

or ‘better luck next time’

its killing to come out

it doesn’t want to be there

in that dark and lonely place

with no one to assure you’re safe

and you can’t control it easy

so you try to keep it there

by thrusting it

by stabbing or cutting yourself

so it wouldn’t be able to bear the pain

and would stay there

but no

it won’t listen to you

have you forgotten

how you snubbed it

for years

not allowing it to be itself

or express itself

now is its chance

be prepared to

say goodbye