It feels as though I may never be whole again

Blue and hollow, only sorrow can follow

I look into the mirror and see the shadow of a nice young man

Reduced to cold, bitter regret of past mistakes made unfixable

A gracious brown-haired beauty holds the key to my heart

For sentencing me to the blue fate did its part

For all my pain, I wish I could have found my tongue

When I needed it most, my greatest asset, my head - yet, my worst enemy - failed me

My head is fine, so why, oh why, will it refuse to work when I have to present a project, or talk to a pretty girl?

I wish my father had told me to be observant of others earlier

I wish my mother had told me to smile and fight back those inner demons that want you to be silent and like a stone earlier

As strange as it may sound, I really needed to hear those things

So now, when my next birthday comes

And you ask me what gifts I want

I hope it is clear that the gifts I want are intangible, cannot be seen

It must be felt, seen not with the eyes, but with the soul

If you cannot give me this, don’t give me anything at all

I just want her

As I know I will not feel whole again

Until that is accomplished

My heart lies shattered into a thousand pieces at the bottom of a lightless chasm

Not because of what was done to me

But what I did to myself

Somehow I hope - I believe, I know

Lucky circumstance will bring us together again

My dear, holy God

My greatest wish is that you lead me to her and enlighten us

Pink and blue

I just want her

To be her champion

And for her to be

My Amy