The highlights of life are becoming few and far between.

I'm just a normal high school teen,

trying to make sense of this messed up world.

But I honestly miss him.

We talked for 3 weeks, 3 months ago

but yet I feel like I know him more now than ever.

But that's probably just the idea of him,

reappearing in my mind as I find someone else

a trap set by my mind

to keep this eternal cycle of depression.

I pushed him away and now I'll push the new guy away too.

I look for the highlights of life but end up pushing them away.

but oh how much I want them to just stay.

Those highlights are like a drug,

consuming my whole life,

my search for them is endless

never quite satisfied.

How does anyone make it through life like this?

I don't even know if I will make it to having kids.

I'm not suicidal just want the pain to go away,

because the pain hurts me every day

and it feels like it's never fully gone

'cause a distraction only lasts so long.

When the party's over you're alone with yourself,

alone with nobody else.

Spiraling through ur thoughts,

like a bullet hitting your heart,

wanting to take a million shots

and just feel okay.

But these highlights are called that for a reason.

They come and go and then you're alone.

The party's over now.