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Brain Dead
Little green glitch with the ba-dum, ba-dum of my heart
Saying a-live, a-live, a-live
Cause my body’s still got me trying to survive
When I’m brain dead
Nothing but drip, drop in my head
Stormcloud raining down
Lightning flashing, but no thunder sounds
Pick a spot on the wall
To watch the paint dry, scrawl
Another message with my nails
Into blackboard, forgot the details
Forgot the fairytales, I only see scales
See the monsters under the bed in the mirror
See the demons in my head a little clearer
Unlike the world that I see through my eyes
In weather so cold, my breath fogs them with lies
Whispering incoherent lullabies under my breath
That lure me to sleep, to sleeping until death
But I’m not dead, not yet
Still see the green line go
Bud-um, bud-um, bu-dum
Like the bass pumping through my earbuds
Letting music make floods
Of the anger and love
Get lost in the blur of
Emotions, harmonies seem to feel
Pumping feeling into my veins, like it’s something to steal
Guess I gotta steal, cause I lost what was real
Now it’s just blank, and frankly
It hurts less to feel nothing
Then trying to heal
Still, I cry, I cry, I cry, but it’s not
Loud, no sound, only dripping tears and snot
Cause the cat’s got my tongue, I don’t wanna chase it
Cause if I get out of bed then I have to face it
Eyeballs dig into my bedridden skin
But won’t see anything if they crawl in
Nothing but some vodka and some cloth left behind my iris
Anything but pain would surprise us
I mean me, I’m sorry
I forget who I’m supposed to be
I also over apologize, over analyze
Don’t prioritize, just hypothesize
Until the thoughts in my brain form a knot
Until they’re caught, emotions shot like a bot
But I’m not
Still have a green line ticking at me
It’s my clock
Going bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum
Until it
Stops
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