just hold on until tomorrow | Teen Ink

just hold on until tomorrow

January 15, 2022
By notesappfiction PLATINUM, Bryan, Texas
notesappfiction PLATINUM, Bryan, Texas
35 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's funny. When you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, 'I want to go home.' But then you come home, and of course it's not the same. You can't live with it, you can't live away from it. And it seems like from then on there's always this yearning for some place that doesn't exist." - Danzy Senna


And I don't remember much / but I can still recall the fear in my voice as I woke up my mom / because you said you were done and for all the darkness I'd faced / nothing prepared me for you wanting to walk away / I'd lost you that much was true but that didn't mean I could lose you too /  and I was 13 years old wearing shoes too big trying to save everyone / a lifeboat forged of flesh and bone /  both candle and match / sail and mast / an army of one waging war on depression / armed with desperation instead of a weapon


And I can't remember your smile /  (it's been a while) / but I can still feel fear's fist on my heart as the panic set in / half an hour away / am I already too late / I cried myself to sleep that night hugging a pillow tight / I had to sleep in my brother's room and turn on a night light / and I prayed / really prayed / for the first time in my life / that it'd be okay / that you'd be all right / that I would get you through tonight / that I could get you to tomorrow /  that we would see tomorrow / tomorrow


(Everything I'd give to just get you to tomorrow / A night of sleep / Two nights of sleep / My dignity / And chocolate milk / Three nights of sleep / Every night of sleep / Yesterday / And every day before it / Every laugh and every smile / Each memory of you and me)


just hold on until tomorrow


And I can't remember what you said to me /  but it broke me can't you see /  I traded me for them and then you made me do it all again /  but I wouldn't change a thing because /  I can still see the stars in the sky as I hugged my chest / and rocked back and forth / willing my phone to ring / for you to call / for you to respond / for you to be alright / for you to still be alive


And I don't remember much / but I know I lost you / I really did lose you / and the you you are now is a stranger / truly / and I've never been more thankful than I am that I don't know you / I could never be more thankful than I am that you lived long enough / to outgrow me / to unknow me / we are perfect strangers / death did not make a time capsule of you / and nothing is as it was / except the fact that I can't remember much



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