Today I wake up exhausted,

An exhaustion that troubles me.

The dark gray sky,

Filled with many bitter sweet clouds.

Today I ache,

I lay on my bed,

Staring up at the lavender ceiling,

Sitting up and curling myself back together.

Looking out the window,

As the sun starts to rise out of the horizon,

Yet I know that it will be brought back down again.

From my room I hear the radio

In my parents room.

More and more news every day

Newer challenges every day.

Challenges that require more than I could handle alone.

An Asian-American died of hatred.

A child lost her parents 

of hate for their race.

Today we grieve

and cry and pray

for the safety of this world.

Today we sit at the kitchen table,

We feel the need more than conversation.

We feel the need of change,

Yet no one can talk.

As the horror struck again

Our silence is so precious.

That no one could break it.

As if the ceiling will fall on us

Even if we whispered.

We are desperate for humanity.

We are desperate to remember.

We are desperate to create.

We are desperate to take action.

Today I stall

For the first time.

I wonder what I should do,

I wonder if I should stay home

and not walk down the block

to buy the sweet vanilla ice cream

on the blazing summer evening.

I wonder if I should stay home,

Not because of the weather,

Not because of the virus,

Today I am frozen like a popsicle

Even though it is a beautiful day

Today I am terrified

Today I cannot hide

This light, pale skin

This dark hair

These brown eyes.

I can see the pounding

of the community at war.

I can feel the Earth shivering

Telling us that it’s had enough.

I can hear the crying people

Praying that this will end

Yet no one cares.

No one changes.

No one speaks up.

And as I walk down the block

I rush past the red haired boys 

that point rudely and say

Go back to where you came from.

To everyone that they believed

Has brought covid to America.

They don’t care to think that 

This land doesn’t belong to them.

Yet they only aim for

Everyone with the light, pale skin

Everyone with the dark hair

Everyone with the brown eyes

Everyone like me.

Today I look at my community,

At the victims.

The victims.

The ones that died of hatred,

The ones that died because of their skin color,

The ones that didn't live for their story to be spoken out,

The ones that were hopeless,

Because the only thing they said 

before they stopped breathing was:

Oh, Precious world, 

What have we done to deserve this

The wounded.

Today I look at the country,

At the victims.

At the terrorists.

The terrorists.

The ones that raised a rifle,

The ones that thought they were more superior,

The ones who believe,

That everyone revolves around them,

The ones that thought their race

will be the Master Race once and for all.

The ones that killed thousands,

The ones that were so selfish,

The ones that left millions of devastated families,

The ones that still believe that their skin color was everything.

The slaughterers.

Today I look at the world,

At the victims.

At the terrorists.

At the bystanders.

The bystanders.

All of the bystanders.

The ones that don't seem to care,

The ones that walk away like nothing happened,

The ones that watch people fall of fear,

The ones that lived through America's melting pot.

Yet they were the ones that still did nothing,

But watch people as they are stabbed with knives of deadly remarks.

The onlookers.

Today I will return to the normal

The normal is the past

Going to school

Eating out

Riding my bike down the block

Being a human being

Today we will keep going

Nothing will stop me.

Nothing will stop us.