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Just a Boy Once
You were just a boy who sat next to me on the early morning bus when I went to the third grade and you to the fourth grade.
You were the boy I thought to be so great, chatting with you once friend on the other side while I listened in.
You let me believe something that wasn't true, something because I was blinded by you and your forgettable words.
You, a year older than me, asked to use my phone.
The phone I only had because back then I couldn't do multiplication well.
You went onto my old meaningless instagram and looked up things I didn't think you would.
Then you drifted away after that.
Then I opened my eyes and saw you.
We meant again in faith and six then left.
The seventh and eighth.
There you saw me as much more.
I changed, I grew, I got a bit of a chest but was still young.
Even now I can still remember what you asked me out of the blue while doing my science homework at home.
I didn't want to make you mad or sad for my ability to not want to do it.
You shocked words out of me through text.
My friend was your neighbor, I never knew till she said something.
I found out then your father thought you were some saint.
He also found the texts I wanted to delete, ones I regret even now.
I regret so much, but I'm not sure if I fully regret you.
Because you showed me how to grow in a way.
You showed me how not to trust everyone at first.
TW: sexual assault, harassment
My first and not my last of questionable looks and taste in people.