Love poetry

I’ve never truly understood it

Love seems painful

Like handing someone your heart 

And a knife made of your devotion

And trusting them not to tear it open

My mother speaks of her friend

“I always hated that man”

An affair

A man given everything by a willing heart

Still needing more

Still taking more

My brother steadies his future wife

Holds her hand and listens

Holds her hand and whispers soft words

As tears fall from her eyes 

A man sharing everything in his heart

Still sharing his heart

Still loving hers

I cried too, once

Tears fell from my eyes as I realized

I’d never love a man

I’d never love a woman

What will my mother think

I long for soft touches filled with care

Hands resting where my wings used to lay

Kisses and laughter pressed against my skin

I long for declarations of love

Words whispered under the stars

A part of the simple truth of the universe

Words yelled loud and strong

Like the cry of revolution

I long for love that burns 

And love that is soft

And love that is special 

And I long for all the things I’ve been told to long for

But I can’t love someone in the way I crave

Not truly

So I’ll hug stone pillars and imagine they are human arms

So I’ll whisper words of affection like a prayer to myself

So I’ll burn myself up 

So I’ll wrap myself in the softest blankets

So I’ll imagine I am special

And I’ll pretend to understand love poetry

Even though I will never fall in love