They say he wears a big red suit

That he is fat with a white beard

He squeezes himself down your chimney

And he knows a way back up 

They say he flies in a sleigh with 8 reindeer

He makes it to every child across the world in just one night 

Somehow he eats all these cookies and drinks all this milk

And still lives 

They say he has little elves that make the toys

They make the toys all year round 

He knows what you want even if you don’t tell him

They say all this for the magic of christmas,

But santa wears straight jeans

He is skinny with brown hair and glasses

He walks downstairs and then back up to bed

He drives an SUV from 2006

He only has 2 kids to give gifts too

He only eats a bite of the cookies he helped make and drinks one sip of milk

He goes to the stores to get gifts 

Only shops starting in November 

He knows exactly what I want because santa,

Santa is my dad