What if it was me or one of my best friends?

How do you get through grief

When grief seems to be all you know at this point?

all the deaths

the first day

the first quarter

2 people

people are dead

they’re haunting our halls 

but they’ve never step foot in our nightmares

their torture is our birthday

we would give anything to be hurt by them again

decorated locker

pictures and messages

but they didn’t even know her that well

the others

they just move along with their days

but how do they do it

I would like to know

because it seems that everyone else can

so it should be just as easy for me

I shouldn’t cry about someone I didn’t know

But I saw them just the other day

They were great

So why did God have to take them away

I can’t fathom why

but I think he was jealous that we had them

Maybe if I keep lying to myself

to my friends

maybe that’s how the others do it

Ruby 

Mr. Bushey

their families loss

the communities loss

I see blankets

in their memory

I see pictures

hanging pictures and walking by

like nothing ever happened

but a lot happened

how are we supposed to cope with that

when we’re just kids

when we aren’t ready to comprehend those lost feelings

and the kid

I don’t even know his name

I saw him drop

We all did

He was okay in the end

but he was limp

lost all control

Someone in the crowd

rushing to help him

the rest of us in shock

The EMTs telling his mom to get off the court

her resistance was the best thing that she could do

his sisters crying in the lobby

We didn’t know any of them

but the scene replays in our minds

the sound when his body hit the floor rings in our ears

dropping

I thought I saw this kid die

the trauma that comes with that is terrifying

When my biggest fear is falling

I see it again in my sleep

involuntarily

controlled by my own mind

but I get sick with guilt

and I can’t help but think

What if that was me or one of my best friends?

how do you get through grief

when grief seems to be all you know at this point?