Hey Dad it’s been hard without you lately. 

                                You left me and I couldn’t even say bye. 

I was 3 hours away on the e way bound to crash 

Jaylen was there with me like you would have wanted 

But the way I felt I wish that bridge wouldv’e collapsed 

No sense of why I’m here without you so my house feel haunted 

Are you mad at me because I wasn’t there?

I know Dad…… I was never there. 

But I wouldv’e been there…. I swear I wouldv’e. 

You couldn’t teach me how to heal from your fathers death

Because you never did. 

You couldnl’t teach me how to be a woman 

Because dad all you had was poor excuses of women 

Coming in and out 

& back and forth 

With no shame or dignity 

You left me dad when you never left me before 

Why?

Is this one of your big schemes to prove your point?

Did you really have to die 

& leave me your eldest to fend for herself 

And Kasey, Josalyn, Sandra, Antwanette and Kari?

What am I supposed to do Dad? 

I know you say be strong and you said I’m the strongest person 

You’ve met but I’m tired 

I’m scared to close my eyes 

Because I can’t imagine you 

Just memories 

I want to see your face, give you a hug

& cry so ugly that you give me that look.

Just give me a sign, wipe my tears and tell me everything will be okay.

Dad.

I always told you that I wouldn’t be here forever babygirl.

“Hope for the best and prepare for the worst”, no matter what. 

Take care of yourself and stand on what you’ve been taught

I always told you that you can’t help everybody until you’re okay….

Stop worrying about everything babygirl we’re McQueens. 

I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more there for you 

Emotionally……

But I love you more than anything life has done to me 

But i let it make me bitter 

Don’t do that Desiree Alycia McQueen. 

You’re so intelligent….

Graceful……. And wise beyond your years. 

Now push yourself beyond what you thought I couldv’e done. 

Don’t be discouraged because I’m no longer 

There physcia form

But form faith in your heart that Daddys is always watching…

I BELIEVE IN YOU. 

I LOVE YOU.

I’M PROUD OF YOU.

All the things that I shouldv’e said.