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Dear Mr. Bully
dear mr. bully,
i heard your favorite place
in the whole school was
under the slide,
where you’d beat up
the skinny dorks
and leave them
their faces bloody and bruised
on the ground
to be found by another
innocent creature
in the school.
i bet you thought
no one would ever
find out.
dear mr. bully,
i heard that your favorite food
was little timmy’s sandwiches
which you’d peel both breads off of
and smush them into
all your victim’s faces
juice the peanut butter
onto the lips of the nut allergy table
squeeze the blueberry jam
in the eyes of the little boys
that would follow you around
trying to help you
though you just used
as slaves.
i bet you thought
no one would ever
find out.
dear mr. bully,
i heard that your favorite subject
was health class
because you would have
a whole. entire. hour.
to talk about
inappropriate body parts
in front of the teacher
and not get in trouble for it.
you’d yell them
smush them in the expressions
of your aghast classmates
and when the principal called you
to her office,
you’d say
‘miss, it was health class’
and you’d be dismissed.
i bet you thought
no one would ever
find out.
dear mr. bully,
i heard that you liked anna
in the 7th grade
but she ditched you
on your first date
for a wimp named
jeffery
that you hated
and beat up after school
everyday
until he spit out that
he would never
go out with anna
ever
again.
i bet you thought
no one would ever
find out.
dear mr. bully,
i heard that in high school
you gave that one kid,
you remember his name?
matthew,
a wedgie.
you remember him now?
he cried for two days straight
wouldn’t stop complaining
about how much it hurt.
and after he came back to school
you took him from the
underwear again
and hung him
inside his own locker
and locked him inside.
i bet you thought
no one would ever
find out.
dear mr. bully,
i heard that you put yourself
on the vote list
for prom king.
and i heard
that you won.
but not out of respect
out of fear.
i hope you enjoy living your life
like a mini donald trump.
you know what else i heard?
i heard
you got some of your goons
to hack the whole vote system
which made you gain
at least 200 more votes.
i bet you thought
no one would ever
find out.
dear mr. bully,
i heard you graduated.
and that you’re going to harvard.
i also heard
that you’re a good guy now.
but when i visited you
you punched your best friend
in the face.
are you that much better?
and did you really think that
no one
would ever
find out?
dear mr. bully,
i’m just writing to let you know
little timmy opened up his own restaurant;
jeffery married anna;
and matthew
well, poor matthew
he became a billionaire
inventing and selling
a new kind of underwear
which he called
wedgie-free.
i hope you’re happy, mr. bully.
you were mean to these people
and now they’re better than you.
hope you're happy.
because
we
all
eventually
find
out.
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to the bully i used to know - hope you get far in your life, and you stay there.