This poem is me talking to myself. Me trying to figure out why i am so dramatic, frantic, chaotic, and childish, but also mature. i ask myself for reasons why i make ruins of who i want to be, before i can even try to be it. i know what the implications of what i'm doing but continue it anyways. this poem is one of my favorites i've written.  a little about myself- i'm a junior in high school, i want to attend New York University for my college years to study film acting at TISCH, their arts program. that's actually a very big goal of mine. I love writing, though i don't tell anyone I do it. that's a trend with me, i don't tell most of anyone what i like to do because i think they'll think it's weird or that i'm not good enough to do it, and that shines through this poem. this poem was written a bit over a month ago, and i'm happy to say i've made some progress regarding my life!  thanks for reading!