There’s an organism inside of me. Nucleus of gray,  DNA of blue.

Should I tell him or should I not? Will I be hit if I’m caught?

He doesnt love me but loves my looks. He loves the way he can control my books. A book of my life filled with joys and bores.

My stomach is still small but the nucleus grows. Cells formed minute by minute.

Letting it grow is going to be a fidget. 

A fidget of  blue bruises on my arms from the strike of another human's kiss

A kiss of a hit that makes me sick. A sickness of pain on my arms that I hide in shame.

Should I tell him, should I not, should I say the organism couldnt preform.

Perform the act of staying alive before the first breathe out of the womb.

But if that first breathe is none then the organism will be gone.

I hate this cavity of this world. A cavity that is large and bold. A cavity that’s as deep as a bowl.

Maybe he planned this, maybe he poked holes, maybe the rubber wasn’t as protective as a bone.

What if he wanted to trap me like a fish? A fish in a 2 gallon bowl.

Always at his knees taking in every blue bruise and every vocal expression that makes me wanna lose.

Lose the game of life with a noose or a pill. This cavity of a world is still a dark veil.

The organism grows inside my belly and it makes me feel sick.

Sick or healthy. Escape or be trapped. Should I be selfish or help this organism escape this trap?

Trap a future child here or let them free. What if they can cure cancer? Or figure out how to flee.

What if they grow up with blue bruises on their arms. 

What if they grow up with the anger of the blue bruise kisser

Or what if they grow up with a rope around the esophagus.

Why bring a child into this cavity of a world just to suffer in vain. Wouldn't it be better to release the soul from this awful pain.

Release this soul to a better life and let it be saved.

This organism still grows inside of me but I want it to stop. I don’t want to bring this life form into this life of drought.

Maybe I can escape this cavity of the world too. Get out of the dark lines and sugary stabs that watch my every move.

What if I had the rope around my esophagus. I could escape with this organism too.

It’s only a clump of cells. Cells that grow. Maybe it’s okay because the nucleus isn't full.

I don’t want this organism to grow. 

Grow up being beaten. Beaten and sad with a life full of fleeing.

Fleeing of the man who caused these blue bruises.

I can escape. This organism can too. To better life forms and bodies of love.

This body we share is only here for this life. But our souls live forever with different bodies throughout life.

I’ll just tie the knot on this cavity and pull it out. Then hang it on the balcony on this cold dark night.

Noose of nooses, necks of necks, this organism is ready to die.

I hope the blue bruise kisser can kiss his way to hell. I hope hell is hot with lava pain. I hope he gets to feel those blue bruised arms on his veins.

And now I can finally save two organisms.