Can You tell?

Can you see what I’m going through?

Can you tell I’m not myself?

If only you knew

I can be anything but myself.

I carry a lump in my throat that lingers

I stare off into space

To fiddle with my fingers 

And to have a blank face.

To go cross eyed 

In a train of thought

Of what if and why?

Please why can’t it be caught?

People think I’m strange

To be honest I don’t really care

I wont listen to comments, I will not change

Go on let them stare.

I’ll fake a smile and say I’m alright

But deep down I’ll fall apart

I need someone to hug me tight

someone who knows me with all their heart.

I won’t tell a soul

No one has known 

Like falling into a rabbit hole

Or tossed-being thrown.

I’ll wash my face

And wipe away a tear

To act fine in this strange place

“Will they Notice?” is what I fear

Like the weight of the world on your shoulders

Holding it down

I’m only getting older, growing a bit colder

When I fell to my knees, no one was around, So did I even make a sound?

I want someone just to be there

So i won’t have to be alone

But I couldn't; I shouldn’t dare

No, I’ll just do this on my own.