Love For The Sun

My life was the night and I was the moon

It was always dark with little stars trying to lighten the lands up for the dead plants. 

The moon thought it would never shine again

But it was mistaken when it started to gleam, brightening the lands up, barely surprising everyone.

The more the moon started to glow 

The more the moon loved the feeling of the warmth

But the more the moon was attracted to the warmth it started to burn from the heat, 

Not knowing how to handle it the moon kept its distance from the source of the heat. 

The Moon loved the warmth but didn’t want to get burned by the sun 

But months later the moon grew bolder and tried getting close to the moon every day trying to get used to the heat from the sun. 

The moon had enough confidence to stand its ground feeling the sun’s radiating warmth and heat. 

The moon loved the sun's heat. 

I loved the sun's heat, I loved him,

I loved him to the point the sun could vanish and I wouldn’t notice

Because that’s not the warmth that comforts me in the cold, 

Nor the light that shines up this world of mine, he is. 

I never believed in such a religion but when I looked at him I knew. 

I made myself into an angel for him but unlike other men, he created heaven for me and told me that angels shouldn't live in hell. 

The way he held me in his arms made me miss him when we were not together and I started to wonder if he missed me as I did him. 

If I knew a way to make him miss me the way I do

I wouldn’t dare to use it on him for he isn’t deserving of that ache. 

You were a god sent to my hellish world, my love.

You are the one I could go to if I had a problem

I love that you are a safe space for me

But sometimes not all safe places are exactly safe

I had previous relationships but never have I craved this much attention

Just me and him nothing was wrong

Everything was just perfect

So I thought.

“Getting Too Close to the Heat”

The saying “curiosity killed the cat”

But this time it killed my heart. 

For all my love for him wasn’t enough to satisfy his hunger?

Why must I be so curious about things that aren’t for me to uncover? 

I still wonder if it was a good or bad idea. 

Maybe good that I found out.

But bad because will I ever experience this kind of heat again? 

The feeling of the sun beaming down on my skin

Will I find another love that will satisfy me as or even more than he did? 

It hurt to see him saying those words to another while saying them to me also.

Did he ever mean those pathetic little words to me? 

Those words always changed my mood like when the sun is peeking out from the dark old rainy Clouds showing the beautiful rainbow.

Though I didn’t want it to be true and I wanted to see it was from years ago. 

It wasn’t. 

My mouth went sour when I saw it had been recently. 

I kept rereading everything over and over… and over… over… 

Till I memorized the date, time, and what it said. 

I thought you were the angel sent to be my guardian to protect me from all evil

But I was wrong, you were a fallen angel.

You made me think you were an angel but once I saw the real you the devil showed itself in your eyes.

Lucifer. 

Once you had such a glowing image and you were my favorite angel always giving good energy but now I only see the devil doing his evil deeds once again. 

For I thought I got away from the devil’s grasp just to be back in his grasp once again. 

How foolish of me.

Cold

It's like the warmth of the sun was completely gone

The coldness turned into darkness suffocating me once again

A feeling I can never get used to 

Where did my sun go?

Everything went blurry due to the tears falling and my mind going blank from mixed emotions

One minute I was in class then the next I was at the busses holding onto my friend for dear life

I wanted to hurt him as he hurt me and I wanted to do worse to him but god saw his face and saw me hurt from his own situation.

Acceptance 

I never knew how empty my room was till now

Nobody got me like he did but now I feel like I have nobody 

Maybe my eyes were lying to me and maybe I was being dramatic, 

then again I did not question him I only saw the messages and then lashed out, but could you blame me?

Satan wasn’t always named satan. He was one of God’s beautiful angels. 

He was God’s favorite angel for he was the purest of them all. 

So how could I pick out the worst in him when he showed me what heaven felt like

What if I forgave him? I just want to see him again.

I missed his touch against my skin

The thought of being back in his warm arms just brought me back to longing for his face

I missed him and I couldn't take it anymore

All I wanted was him

I wanted to see him 

I could withstand the pain of him hurting me but the pain of thoughts of knowing I would lose him completely destroyed me more. 

How could I love another for my heart beats louder when I’m with him?  

I heard his voice again and every inch of my soul ached

All I wanted was to be with him again and forget everything that happened.

Him pleading for forgiveness and trying to fix things made my walls weakened

My walls were crumbling before I knew it 

I would rather be burned by the sun's heat than lose the warmth of the sun’s heat completely.

How could I love another for my heart beats louder when I’m with him?  

Not even all the stars in the galaxy can compare to the ray of light you enveloped me in to protect me from my darken of days.  

When I said I fell in love with you, I meant every word that came out of my mouth. 

But not just you, your entire existence itself. 

Your presence is truly something to die for, my love.