The truth is that it wasn’t always like this;

Distant

Unsubstantial

And hostile

Seeing us now I wouldn’t believe myself remembering how it was

We were close

Like two waves; rippling and swelling in simultaneous patterns

He filled me up

A warm tenderness

Mouthfulls of rainbow marshmallows; the taste of love

I must have choked 

The previous empty feeling from distance became from closeness

Conversations of laughter turned to yelling

And comments of “I miss you” were no longer

The once simultaneous waves were now oceans apart

My father used to fill me up

That was true

But now I feel completely and utterly empty

My cup is now dry and pitiful

“I hope I will disappoint you less today”

So, I do my best in all the ways I can for him

In hopes he will fill my cup

But it is left still dry

The rare words of appreciation should fill my cup

But the overheard sayings full of hatred hindered that

I could say that I want my relationship restored

But the truth is that I don’t know if I do any more