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I Don't Play By The Rules
I don't play by the rules.
I'm no warrior that stands by the front line
fighting off enemies using my own blood and bones
living under the scorching sun
wounded by the dirt mud that makes me sink
into my knees, crying.
I'm no sacrificer that gives up my life for the sake
of the strangers freezing beside me
having nothing to do with me
only judging me in their side glance that makes me
hide in a spot, forgetting.
I'm no big voice that goes alone
trying to raise for the so-called justice
when nothing is based on justice
and the shadows above me are covering my eyes
that makes me, scared.
I'm no liar that opens my mouth every second
telling people with the mist-blinded eyes
the insistence of the exact truth but hiding beneath it
is pieces of polluted garbage that makes me
disgusted.
I'm no dreamer that thrives in those imaginations
painting their traps to cage themselves
dive into little transparent colorful bubbles
and breaks into plain soap water
if someone pokes it just a little
that, makes me humiliated.
I'm no player that repeats the same old life
glad to be in the background
being nonchalant
not caring about anyone when they pass by
not even themselves and
that makes me, stand out.
I'm no darer that is brave enough
to run over the hill again and again
just to climb back up
I'm afraid of losing
winning
speaking
fighting
dying
Being.
All because
I'm too selfish
to play by the rules.
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An outsider's story.