Numbers | Teen Ink

Numbers

November 7, 2023
By Anonymous

I stare at the number that screams out to me from the bottom of her post. 

Why can’t I attract that attention? 

I want to look just like her.

People will like me just as much, right?


I look back at the screaming number as it continues accumulating. 

What’s so special about her?

I wish I looked just like her.

I know everyone will like me just as much, right?


A new number speaks to me, this time off of my own post.

Why does the number grow bigger, while my confidence trembles away?

This isn’t me.

The attention swells, it's showing they like me just as much, right?


This time, I look in the mirror, and no numbers talk to me. 

This time, my face is talking to me, but my mouth isn't moving. 

It’s telling me, “This is you.” 

Who cares if they like me?


The author's comments:

The inspiration for this poem is how I find myself looking at a screen seeing a million girls who I think I should look like. I am constantly trying to make myself look good enough to be placed on a screen so another girl can feel the exact same way while looking at me; the concept of subconsciously one-upping each other because you think it is bringing each other up. I open my phone every day to see women “supporting” women telling them they wish they looked like that. If all people looked the same, no one would be pretty. For me, I want to look like the girls that everyone compliments. But where is the diversity in that? It is shown in my poem at the end of each stanza that I ask myself a question which overall grows to show that asking yourself over and over if someone will like you doesn't change who you are or what people think of you. Ultimately, the inspiration for how I want to look is my own personal values. It shouldn’t matter what other people think of me if I like how I look because I am the most important person. 


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