Desire to stand out

They say,
Be a peafowl among the crows
Be a rainbow among the clouds
Be a sunflower among the weeds
For you will attract eyes of attention

Privilege of novelty, how sweet
Permission to revel in finding others mundane, how fun

Yet

Desire to fit in
For there is solace in finding yourself blendable
Spot of haven that homogeneity provides

Fewer chances of receiving shards of hatred and jealousy, they say
When immutable as it is, we all know the chances are all the same

And I seem to belong nowhere
A distorted puzzle piece in a painting
No place for me in this vast world?
I doubt, yet it seems
And there seems to be no one to hear my words
for I am left alone here with no one to blame but me
and so hatred against myself deepens every day
and so it gets darker and darker                                                                like an unrecoverable sky with no stars to be found